Recycle

I guess I wonder
why it hurt -
and made me feel
lower than dirt...

Why did I cry
and tear into -
I suppose that's really
nothing new...

Crawling out when
thrown away -
Remember that
when they say...

That they care
a thing for you -
because you know
it isn't true.

Waves

The last thing
she said to me
was I love you -

It's so strange
how it hits me
out of the blue...

The tears begin
with feelings
mended with glue...

as I still have
to remind myself
that yes, it's true.

Growth

Who cares
never look back -
be happy to know
you're done with that...

Going backwards
never gets you ahead -
remember the truth
and what was said...

Smile to yourself
because you know -
you're happy that time
had to go...

and never again
will you allow -
someone to treat you
like that now.

Locked

Everything will
work out for the best -
doesn't matter the trials
or even the tests...

You have to let go
and soar to be free -
you have to let
the past just be...

forgotten and buried
and left alone -
and deal with the outcome
on your own.

Adios

I'm disgusted
at the sight of you -
a liar and nasty
through and through...

I see your face
and I get sick -
You're such a stupid
rude prick...

I hope your karma
eats you away -
and that you reap
all that you say...

because you're nothing
but a vapid whore -
I could not care less
about you anymore...

I laugh in your face
when you try to care -
because I have
no care left to share.

Never Forget

They gave everything
they gave their all -
we will never see
the last thing they saw...

They had courage
and a life that would be -
them giving theirs up
so that we could live free...

It's not about a pool
or a cookout and beer -
it's about those hero's
who are no longer here...

To lay by the water
and stare at the sky -
so while you do that
remember who had to die.

Within

The only person
who can achieve your goals is you...

No one else can move you forward
or forcefully push you through...

You are all that there is
to make your dreams come true...

So when you make any decision
make sure it's the right thing to do.

Lies

I've learned everything
that glitters isn't gold...

Just because someone smiles in your face
doesn't mean the truth is told...

That you can't really trust
any one person at all...

When you do
you must prepare for the fall...

That it's easier to keep
everyone at bay...

No matter how you feel
you're better off anyway...

because people lie to your face
or talk behind your back...

and life is way too short
to include people like that.

Even Still

We're coming up
on twenty two years -
with lots of smiles
and plenty of tears...

Yet, here we are
with love still there -
we played for keeps
and we still care...

It doesn't matter
whether we lose or win -
Whenever we fall
we will get up again...

It's not so bad
I'm happier than -
I ever in my life
have been...

The stress is gone
as we enjoy this life -
another year married
husband and wife.

Cancelled

Sometimes you gotta do
what you gotta do -
whether it's a lie
or whether it's true...

It's time to make time
to look after you -
and do what you decide
that you need to...

No matter what anyone
else has to say -
it is your life
so live it your way.

Full Deck

I'm so glad
it's all behind me -
no remorse
and no reminding...

I feel nothing
for what I did -
I no longer hide
where I hid...

I am free from
chains so tight -
I was wrong
but now I'm right...

I'll never go
backwards again -
I played my hand
and now I win.

Seasons

It's all so different
than it was back then -
if I could go back
what would I do again...

The wind tickles my nose
and brings back memories -
though there's nothing I can do
but let them all be...

I find it so strange
I'm not sure what to miss -
as I put them all away
and seal it with a kiss.

Doors

Holding onto the rope
is it a noose or a bow...

and when you are dangling
how do you know...

The mind believes the worst
and the heart believes the best...

is everything about it all
just one big test...

There were some smiles
and there were many tears...

I've learned to push them all away
throughout the years...

because disappointment
is always the outcome...

leaving nothing but confusion
wondering what have I done.

Lessons

I watched
the butterfly
flutter away...

Looking
for a new flower
on a new day...

The caterpillar
no longer is
where it will stay...

As it grew its wings
and forever more
flew away.

Ugh

Can I just
crawl in a hole -
how many times
do I have to know...

the stupid things
that I regret -
now I will be
done with it...

silent caves
hidden away -
and that is where
I will stay.

Free

If everyone looked at life
as just one existence...

I wonder how much more
happy we would  be...

Being kind to other cultures
with no resistance...

Appreciating all other peoples
individuality...

Because really we are
just one big race...

Same sky, same earth,
same oceanography...

It would be a world
that would be a peaceful place...

If we could just let each other be...

Free.

Sand Stones

This time tomorrow
with my toes in the sand -
the waves hitting the shore
and a drink in my hand...

I'll reflect upon my life
and how far I have come -
as I welcome a new year
with friends having fun...

It's a big milestone
but I've earned the right -
to indulge in my spa day
and dance every night...

The past is the past
and the future is to be -
as I soak in all of Cabo
Happy birthday to me!

The Good Life

It's like the sun
is shining on me -
and doing so
specifically...

because it knows
the storms I've had -
and now it's there
to make me glad...

I didn't give in
and throw it all away -
and to always believe
in a brand new day!

Stamps

It's overcast now
with rain on the way -
but I'm counting down
to next Sunday...

When I'm off again
to have a lot of fun -
at a beautiful resort
and lay in the sun...

Next to the crashing waves
and the bongo beat -
I can't wait for the flowers
and the tropical heat...

Breakfast in bed after
dancing through the night -
not a care in the world
enjoying a beautiful sight!

Redemption

When I feel
one inch tall -
with no self esteem
or hope at all...

I will think
on what matters -
when I am
down and tattered...

For that is why
he died that day  -
so all my sins
aren't in the way...

When I kneel
at my God's feet -
and beg for mercy
as I weep...

For all the wrong
that I have done -
he will look towards
his only son...

Who will expose
wounds of the nails -
that saved humanity
from hell...

Showing he died
for my mistakes -
and lead me through
those pearly gates...

Just as he will
for anyone -
who believes in
his perfect son.

Budding

I know that
I no longer -
am weak
I'm so much stronger...

than I ever
used to be -
those days
are ancient history...

I'm over all
that held me down -
I won't allow
darkness around...

I'll never be
another door mat -
I am healed
and done with that.

Chances

I kind of don't know
what to think -
is it all alright
or am I on the brink...

of a mistake
I don't want to face -
I can't take anymore
moments to erase...

The decisions I've made
and the path I follow -
need to be fulfilled
and not left hollow...

I suppose with time
it will appear in view -
I just hope it was
the right thing to do.

Cherry Crush

It's the best
I ever had -
just to wake up with you
makes me glad...

That all the others
were a waste of time -
because I am all yours
and you are all mine...

You make me crave
the way you move -
and the way we love
is the perfect groove...

So give me more
I close my eyes to see -
you bringing me again
that sweet ecstasy. 

Never Look Back

I'm so excited
about that job tomorrow -
I've kicked my depression
and my ridiculous sorrow...

Over stupid situations
not meant for me  -
I realized in that time
I wasn't happy...

Now I get to go
full force ahead -
I put the past in a grave
and it is so dead...

I get to help build
my very own dream -
and reap the rewards
that I've already seen...

So I will try
to add to that pie -
and do what I need to
so the well never runs dry.

Heat

Baby when you touch me
I get hot inside -
there's nothing better
than you by my side...

You make me dizzy
with your sweet kiss -
I'm in your web and
can't get enough of this...

keep pulling me closer
and give me your all -
the lips you have
makes me fall...

into that person
who loves you -
and I will do anything
you want me to.

Three-Fold

Yes, it's happened
quite a few times -
they show up and spout
their stupid lines...

You innocently believe
their lies are true -
but they are there
to just use you...

They take anything
that isn't tied down -
these are the types
you don't want around...

They look for people
to manipulate -
but don't worry
they'll face their fate...

A wolf in sheep's clothing
sets their own demise -
as they gnaw off their leg 

from their own trap and dies.

Happy Days

Just black and white
photo's to see -
a sock hop, a drive in
dresses to the knee...

So simple and sweet
it seems back then -
a time no one
will ever see again...

Yet those old photos
show people alive -
living and dancing
and learning to drive...

the cars that now
men covet to own -
where the boys drove girls
back to their home...

to walk them to the door
with a kiss goodnight -
as she turns in and
shuts off the porch light...

Just like the fading faces
it's a time that's gone -
but through movies and pictures
their legacy lives on.

Sparkling

I used to
couldn't wait -
I thought
it was so great...

Motivation
struck within -
I looked forward
back then...

I was happy
on the team -
as I watched
that twinkle beam...

I didn't know
how it would end -
I wish I would have
back then.

Sunset Rainbows

It's a Monday night
the aroma is quite nice -
Dinner on the stove
making up taco's and rice...

Dogs playing outside
with the back door open wide -
and whenever I sit down
they sit right by my side...

I couldn't ask for more
than this moment in time -
Enjoying my home
and everything that is mine...

I'm watching babies chirp
as all the birds sing -
I wouldn't trade my treasures
for anything...

No, I wouldn't trade my treasures
for anything.

My Secret Garden

I'm so happy
spring has sprung -
all my favorites
are set out and hung...

as beautiful flowers
peek and bloom -
while I add more
and make more room...

for all the beauty
that I love to see -
as I make a paradise
that's perfect for me!

Passport

I don't care
anymore -
I don't know
what it was for...

I look back and
wince with shame -
I've finally learned
the stupid game...

and I know
what I need -
not some random
mistake indeed...

as I start
totally new -
I'm so excited
it's come through!!!

At Ease

Sometimes
following your path -
can be a winding road
from where you're at...

there will be twists,
turns and bumps -
there will be hurdles,
pot holes and humps...

but if you keep going
leaving them behind -
you'll wake up one day
to a brand new time...

when you see
only beauty ahead -
with smooth surfaces
and exciting detours instead.

A New Day

I've definitely made
some bad mistakes -
but I'm done with
my own self hate...

I can't take back
really bad decisions -
but I can decide
to keep on living...

and forgive myself
for stupid things I've done -
as I move forward
and work to become...

What I want to be
believing the life I live -
makes me complete
with only smiles to give.

Check List

Three weeks away
until my next escape -
and in between
life will be just great...

New job that fits
my scheduled life -
while I work my business
trying with all my might...

to live and make
all my ambitions -
that lay at my feet
on my conditions...

become my future
and my reality -
as I accomplish the goals
that are right for me.

Mr. Bradford

He was there for me
during my teenage pregnancy -
no judgement at all,
and definitely no snobbery...

He was the one teacher
I actually listened too -
He was the only adult
who really got through...

I remember the poster
warning about crack -
and I never ever did
mess with that...

I was the wild child
just wanting to be free -
He always shook his head
at my friends and me...

I saw him after high school
while working the front desk -
he wanted a second job
at a job he helped me get...

he was planning to retire early
to travel and enjoy life -
He was so very handsome
yet never had a wife...

I'm now about that age
wanting the same things -
to retire and live life
without the stress it brings...

I've wondered about him
since we lost touch -
he was so very nice,
and I liked him so much...

Yesterday I was shocked
there it was -
his picture and a post
saying he died because...

Cancer again strikes
taking only the good -
if only there was a cure
if only we could...

SAVE people from
this dreadful disease -
Dear Lord can you hear
our prayers and please...

give him a spot
next to your throne -
because he was an angel
he lived as your own...

RIP to you and the memories, talks and posters that influenced my life.

"Crack takes you places" poster with large words over a graveyard. 
He never lectured us, because he didn't need to.
That's a true influence. 
I'll never forget him.

God speed.

Goals

If nobody else does
I will love myself -
If  no one is there
I'll be my own help...

If the world is busy
and I'm left behind -
I won't even care
because at this time...

I want to live
just to see the beauty -
and dance every day
as I shake my booty...

Happily laughing with
my hair in the wind -
that's all that really
matters in the end.

Finish Lines

I have to realize
I can do -
anything that
I put my mind to...

I've learned a lot
with much more to go -
I'm learning patience
and to know...

Even if something
is difficult to learn -
through trial and error
I can stand firm...

in knowing that
it will all work out -
I just need to eliminate
my self doubt.

Vanished

I just don't
care anymore -
it's not like
it was before...

I don't see
anyone the same -
and there is
nothing to blame...

It just wilted
and then it died -
it washed away
until it dried.

Four Non Blondes

I missed you
a lot today -
I know there's nothing
left to say...

but for a moment
you were there -
and we were laughing
in the spring air...

the music loud
our voices sung -
just like those days
when we'd begun...

riding around
and sharing smiles -
sometimes you're here
no matter the miles.

Motivation

Well it's done
and on its way -
I suppose I'll see
on that sweet day...

I will try
and give my all -
I'm dedicated
to walk, not crawl...

and see the things
that I can do -
I will stand tall
I will push through.

Regrets

There are things
I miss about then -
I was so inspired
and remember when...

I couldn't wait
to participate -
back when I thought
it all was great...

I would have done
anything to help -
at the time
I honestly felt...

No wrong would
be done to me -
and I was happy
just to be...

part of something
I believed in -
until I had to be put
together again.

No Thanks

It didn't actually
ever exist -
I was left
alone with it...

with all the
sidekick clowns for sale -
that didn't care
their fate was hell...

so I walked on
with my umbrella -
because I wasn't
their Cinderella.

Shadows

I refuse
to be afraid
of the staring glaring eye...

Karma
is not your friend
yet, still I wonder why...

You think
you even matter
because that is just a lie...

If I ever need it
I have it
and I keep it near by.

Flowering Vines

A front porch swing
kids playing in the grass -
crickets chirping
neighbors wave as they pass...

the grill fills the air
of smells they will soon eat -
mom's in the kitchen
with the dogs at her feet...

making potato salad
and cutting up fresh fruit -
the youngest upstairs
is practicing his flute...

Dad's in the garage
fixing his latest tool -
best friends are laughing
laying out by the pool...

Sweet summertime
as the sun shares it's rays -
growing up in suburbia
living the good ole days.

Clarity

I was afraid
grasping for things -
not meant for my life...

I lost it
for a while -
filled with anxiety and strife...

I wasn't sure
where to turn -
or even who to believe in...

I didn't realize
that all of that -
is only found from within...

I trusted people
I never should have -
or even should have met...

I got lost
in lies from the enemy -
experiencing times I choose to forget...

Yet, in the depths
of despair and depression -
with all that I confessed...

I awoke into my truth
loved and happy -
and so unbelievably blessed.

Peaceful Living

I'll never go back
to what is left behind -
the future isn't there
nor was it even kind...

When you are rescued
from a situation that's not good -
whether it's a person or place
you never ever should...

Open up those doors
that you have shut tight -
it wasn't for your best life
and you weren't treated right.

Maps

It was amazing
I already knew -
and once I got there
it was true...

I'd move in a second
pack up and away -
but I know I will
return one day...

Next up Cabo
and San Antonio soon -
as I make it a mission
to make room...

for things in my life
that make me smile -
and make the days
all worth while.

Dreams Come True

I can’t believe
I’m actually here -
It’s about time
after all these years...

I was right
It’s a beautiful view -
So much to see
So much to do...

Coronado island
that bridge so high -
Yet I did it,
And didn’t even cry...

The view was amazing
and just day one -
This west coast adventure
has just begun...

I’m learning to live
and face my fears -
I’m so happy
I’m finally here!

Dust

If they try
to break you -
let the experience
make you...

stronger than
you've ever been -
determined to
never again...

allow someone
into your life -
that only brings you
grief and strife...

let them say
what they want to -
you could say
a few things too...

but they are not
worth your time -
so go and leave them
far behind.

Joshua 1:9

If you ever feel neglected -
If you've ever been rejected...

If it's hard to face the day -
and you wish it all would go away...

If you find yourself afraid and alone -
and want to hide away inside your home...

Remember ...

Those special gifts unique to you -
and talents that only you can do...

Your worth is more than gold -
no matter how young or how old...

You were bought with a price -
and received the gift of eternal life...

Don't let anyone steal your crown -
pick yourself up and turn things around...

For you are blessed from above -
a child of the King, baptized in love.

Saved

I was the fastest kid
in the whole sixth grade -
even beat the boys...

How time flies by
and childhood is a memory -
that's lost with our toys...

We get so caught up
about getting through life -
We forget what brings peace...

Like catching fireflies,
eating homemade ice cream -
and that innocence underneath...

I was actually a good kid
very shy and not so brave -
I went to church twice a week and prayed...

I know that I am blessed,
but miss those good ole' days -
I am thankful that's the place I was saved!

Rocks

Don't lose your diamonds
collecting stones -
sometimes you're better off
on your own...

You don't have to fit in
with every one you meet -
don't take it personally
that's why you have feet...

to walk you to the people
who are your tribe -
that you enjoy life with
and make you happy to be alive...

That share in mutual laughter
and also share in tears -
these are the diamonds with whom
you should share your years.

California Beamin'

I'm so excited
only one week away -
and I'll be riding
the pacific coast highway...

New dress, heels and bag
off rodeo drive -
Dinner on the Sunset strip
seeing a LA show live...

Lunch in Venice Beach
and Malibu too -
hair in the wind with a
Pacific Ocean view...

Catalina, Coronado,
and San Diego -
the celebrity tour bus
I can't wait to go!!!

Reflection

Anyone can leave, hate
and abandon you...

That's your sign to let it go
you'll make it through...

The only person you can
really count on...

is who you face in the mirror
when the rest are gone...

If no one else in the world is there
you still cherish you...

and hold your head up high
doing the best you can do.

Released

No matter why
and no matter who -
Forgiveness is
the right thing to do...

In order to
walk this path free -
you have to let
the bad things be...

Left in the past
and not in your mind -
it was a lesson
that is left behind...

Choosing to
forgive is self help -
but most of all
learn to forgive yourself.

Focus

I'm going to focus
on the positive
and Cabo in May...

Can't believe so many
great things
are coming my way...

I'll choose to believe
and make these
dreams come true...

because the life
that you live
is completely up to you!

Truth

It's playing out
right before our eyes -
no need to even
try to sympathize...

I hear the birds
I see the ocean tides -
I've already made
the choice to abide...

Where all of this
is just an evil mess -
where evil doers
will have to confess...

And all the fools
who believe in a lie -
stand before God almighty
as every one of us will die.

Recognize

When
evil manifests
itself before you -

Run
like hell
the other way -

It
is only
there to destroy -

Listen
to the
voice you obey.

Seasons

Trees lose their leaves
animals hibernate -
cold covers the land
for life to rejuvenate...

The process seems long,
cold and bleak -
everything looks dead,
yet what is underneath...

is ready to emerge
bigger than before -
larger and healthier
to produce even more...

beauty and inspiration,
strength from a needed rest -
so if you ever feel dormant,
believe you haven't seen your best.

Radio Up

The air is warmer
as flowers bloom -
Springtime is
coming soon...

I look forward
to fresh cut grass -
as the sun sets later
and the daytime lasts...

The lake, the beach
lunch on the patio -
the sunroof wide open
when I take off to go...

enjoy the warmth of
summer and spring -
and all of nature
with the beauty it brings.

Freedom

I'm so thankful
it is all behind -
I have saved
this life of mine...

I've eliminated
what is now gone -
with broken chains
I have moved on...

to brighter days
and an exciting time -
from low to high
water into wine.

My Own Beat

A whole new world
has opened for me -
it's all changed
from what it used to be...

I couldn't be happier
or have more smiles -
I get to enjoy life
and travel for miles...

No more negative
things to bring me down -
I'm only surrounded
with what I want around...

I get to wake up
and appreciate the day -
while living my best life
and doing it my way.

Blossom

It's not a part of
my life anymore -
it's shut and now
is a locked door...

it's all a faded
and lost memory -
my eyes opened up
to the negativity...

and that's alright
I have moved on -
the flowers bloomed
when the rain was gone.

Leopards

The spots
don't change
everyone has heard...

but I
have lived
this truly absurd...

way of
dealing with
what comes back...

evil beings
with no
conscience to lack.

Welcome Mat

They

think of

them as dogs...

I 

think of 

them as family...

You

aren't welcome

in this house...

if you don't feel the same.

Adios

Good riddance
slime ball -
I can't stand
your face at all...

I see you and
I can't believe -
how easily
I was deceived...

You are nothing
go on by -
I'm glad you're gone
I won't cry.

Head On

Bow down
to no one -
take that mental
hand gun...

and shove it
in their face -
put them back
in their place...

face the creeps
and current freaks -
I'm not longer
weak and meek.

Happy Dance

I honestly
just can't wait -
as I sit around
and contemplate...

all the fun things
I get to do  -
back in the day
if I only knew...

that my depression
was a waste of time -
I would soon be happy
in this life of mine...

and rid of everything
that stole my years -
as I live my dreams
with no more tears.

The New

I was under the rock
yet pushed it away -
because I was blessed
with another day...

There was that question
of what do I do -
but now I know
I'll always pull through...

I'm chill with all
the crazy outcome -
because that's what
I've learned to succumb...

as I enjoy my life
with no more rat race -
for the first time ever
I can do it at my pace.

MJF

Every since
I was a teen -
I always imagined
seeing the scene...

Now here I am
about to go -
it's so strange
that I know...

My visions seem
to always come true -
maybe something
deep inside of you...

Will let you know
where to go -
because somehow
it will show...

I can't wait
to soak it in -
this new life of mine
is a win win.

Forward

I might have
but now I don't -
I would have
but now I won't...

I remember
everything said -
and all the lies
being fed...

with words that
didn't belong -
what was weak
is now strong...

It's so much better
with quiet ease -
and living life
how I please.

Heart of Stone

I let go when
I found a different mirror -
I see now
everything is so much clearer...

The only one
holding me back was me -
I broke the chains
and now I'm running free...

Whatever is gone
is now left behind forever -
some ties bind for life
and some you need to sever...

Never again will I allow
someone to raise their voice to me -
because I will hang up
and walk away completely...

I don't need some outsider
telling me what to do -
I don't care at all anymore
the days of apologies are through.

Saved

It was dark
In fact pitch black -
so dark I couldn't see
where I was at...

The hole was deep
I couldn't get out -
I clawed and clawed
I tried to scream and shout...

There was no one
to pull me through -
so I accepted there
was nothing I could do...

Until a hand
reached down so strong -
and lifted me up
to where I belong...

Then wiped away
my tear stained face -
and led me to
my happy place...

The devil has
many lies to tell -
but the truth set me free
from that hell.

Embrace Yourself

Go on and let go
live and let live -
leave it behind when
there's nothing left to give...

Don't live with pressure
or you'll explode -
release all the tension
and troubles you hold...

Now is the time
it won't come again -
so embrace the future
and choose to win...

Surround yourself
with only positive vibes -
and what brings happiness
and peace to your life.

Believe

New start
New you -
so much that
there is to do...

fill that calendar
up with days -
that bring you happiness
and better ways...

of living the
best life for you -
it you can dream it
it can come true!

Chapters

I'm not really sad
to tell this year goodbye-
if I said it was my best one
that would be a lie...

but I think I've learned a lot
and believe in hope ahead -
as long as I have life in me
none of my dreams are dead...

I will continue traveling
and accomplishing my goals -
what's ahead in the next year
God can only know...

So I'll put my trust in him
as I work to better myself -
I look forward to the future
and I got this with his help.

Fate

I've learned a lot
the past few years -
I've laughed really hard
and I've shed some tears...

Don't ever be afraid
to pack it up and move on -
don't try to hold onto
memories long gone...

Don't be afraid
to turn and walk away -
when you want to leave
with no reason to stay...

No one is guaranteed
to see another day -
so live and forgive
and learn to say...

That it's alright
to trust your destiny -
and know things are how
they need to be.

Merry Christmas!

It's my favorite
holiday -
I feel the joy
as I happily say...

To all who celebrate
near and far -
enjoy your family
wherever you are...

Tuck the kids in
nice and tight -
have some drinks
by the fire light...

Enjoy the magic
and Christmas lights -
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night.

Trophy

I saw him
today...
I wasn't sure
what to say...

but he hugged me
with a kiss -
I guess I imagined
the quiet diss...

because I hold it
all on me -
it's a lot of pressure
but I see...

I don't have to
ever again -
I'm letting it go
so I can win.

Mirror

I'll chose forgiveness
and move past -
the things I knew
wouldn't last...

It's behind me
forever more -
not sure what it
all was for...

but I know that
in order to heal -
I have to move past
what wasn't real...

and see that
I have what's good -
as I'm doing
what I should.

Fluff

I don't care at all
anymore -
I'll give what I'm given
that's for sure...

I won't bow down
to any deal -
especially when
I don't even feel...

a single thing
for any of them -
can't believe I wasted
time on a whim...

Stupid is
as stupid does -
and I'm done with that
just because...

I can't even stand
their faces -
amazing what time
surely erases.

Roads

Everything happens
for a reason is true -
could be a blessing
or lesson that led you...

exactly where
you needed to go -
but never would
have done so...

if you hadn't gone
through a challenging time -
that led you to where
you will be just fine.

Blast from the Past

It is ironic
and quite bazaar -
to hear from them
both near and far...

One was gone
and that same day -
another sent a message
after being away...

Now that ones left
and I got the ding -
the very next morning
saying the same type of thing...

It's been a weird
and crazy year -
some gone, some back
and some still here.

Door Mat

I honestly don't
understand why -
but it's alright
I refuse to cry...

I'll let it go
and shut that door -
I'll never reach out
anymore...

I'll push it out
of my memory -
and be at peace
to let it be...

Some people are
here for the day -
and then get up
and go away...

when they do
accept it and know -
and step on back
so they can go.

Check Marks

I'm looking forward
to the new beginning -
where all my goals
will be on winning...

where I surround
myself with good -
and focus on all
that I should...

to make my dreams
happy and bright -
to move towards the future
and do what is right...

believing the best
has yet to appear -
and embrace the hope
that I hold dear.

Inspiration

There are people
who have it real -
not fake issues that
I shouldn't even feel...

They buried their
love and hope -
and then stood up
and had to cope...

So I will decide
to try to too -
by getting inspiration
from believing in you...

No more wallowing
in depression -
I'll turn it into
learning the lesson...

That really I
already knew -
No more looking back
as I follow you.

Lines

Pack it up
and just go -
put miles between
what you know...

Clearly there
is nothing here -
it would be another
wasted year...

when everything
I actually need -
is to be gone
and to be freed...

from anything
that holds me back -
and find the future
that I lack.

But Why

I guess I just
don't understand -
all I can be
is who I am...

Not sure how
and not sure why -
maybe they like
to make me cry...

but I will get up
and push it down -
and will no longer
be around.

Shade

Just like Dorothy
and her ruby red shoes -
I click my heels together
and ride off with my muse...

It's actually kind of funny
that I really don't care -
Not even a tear
or any sadness is there...

I've built my walls
and they stand tall -
as I close the curtains
I won't miss you at all.

Sunshine

I'm keeping the happy
I've grown to be -
no more of the darkness
that captivated me...

I'll focus on goals
that I will achieve -
I'll absorb what fuels me
and what I believe...

I won't bow to anything
that leads me astray -
I know what I want
and it's here to stay.

News Talk

The angel crashed
onto the floor -
a gift from you
that is no more...

Symbolic to me
as I threw it away -
so much has changed
since those days...

I sometimes wonder
where you are now -
You'd laugh if you
knew all about how...

some crazy times
have come and gone -
some ups and downs
but I've moved on...

You were wise
with your blue eyes -
and now we live
such different lives...

I remember all
that you taught me -
somewhere out there
I hope you're happy.

Untied

The storm clouds have passed
as I open my eyes -
No more bad times
that I despise...

Free from the weights
that held me down -
surrounded with only
what I want around...

Emerged from the darkness
and into the light -
I look towards the future
what a beautiful sight.

Jared

He picks me up
when I fall -
stands by my side
through it all...

Not that he hasn't
contributed to -
some of the trials
that we go through...

and not that I haven't
been a pain to him -
some times are good
some times you can't win...

He keeps me safe
and wipes away my tears -
I need his confidence
that I've lacked for years...

He's usually happy
and so laid back -
we're actually opposite
yet so in tact...

We can laugh at things
others might not -
it's been a long time
since we tied the knot...

It's not a fairy tale
with a prince on a horse -
it's choosing a commitment
and not a divorce...

He has never left

and neither have I -

we will be together

until the day that we die.

Crystal Ball

Such beauty, such power
such a magnificent shine -
illuminating this world
throughout all of time...

as life enjoys slumber
underneath it's bright beam -

the wishes it has granted

the things it has seen...

First kisses with smiles

Last kisses with tears -

keeping so many secrets

for millions of years...

Shining diamonds onto water

dripping crystals onto snow -

the biggest man made city 

is just a twinkle beneath its glow...

it directs the earths orbit

and guides the oceans flow -
gazing down upon us

from his star studded show.

Yes!

I'm going to
get there again -
I'm so refreshed
it's time to win...

I'm ready to
go the distance -
no longer living
with such resistance...

Back to the gym
back to class -
back to working out
my sweet little ass...

Back to smiling
and feeling new -
are you ready 2019
I'm coming for you!

Stop Sign

I've done my best
all around -
I've learned to swim
instead of drown...

I've let go
of where I was -
and the things I allowed
just because...

I wasn't strong
enough to stand -
and now I just
don't give a damn...

Anyone who would
punch me in the face -
literally or figuratively
is easily replaced...

and quickly forgotten
put out of my mind -
no more petty problems
I've left that behind.

Clarity

What I thought was a nightmare
was a dream come true...

I'm glad as I look back
at what I didn't do...

At the time it was security
where I thought I should be...

Until I felt betrayed
and they no longer needed me...

Now, as I live each day
exactly how I choose...

I see how happy I've become
sometimes you win when you lose.

Slippers

Released -
from the chains
I had always known...

Departed -
from the smallness
and now that I have grown...

Happy -
is the way
I can live each day...

Never -
does the clock
beckon me to stay...

Privacy -

surrounds me 

there is no rat race...

Relaxed -
sipping coffee
in my favorite place...

Refreshed -
about my life
and what I get to do...

Thankful -
for the man
who makes it all come true.

Faux

It actually wasn't
I remember it quite well -
I actually didn't
I awoke from the spell...

I'm glad I don't
and never will again -
no one in the mirror
no having to pretend...

Never will I
relive that mistake -
I have learned what
is real and what's fake.

Frosted

Yes, I saw you

and no, I didn't mean to...

Had I known you were there

I would have gone anywhere...

except where you would be

and I know you saw me...

Now I can clearly see

I'll never bother to be...

anything ever to you

I am ice cold blue.