Going through the motions
on a dreary day -
wish I was anywhere
that is far away...
If only I was upbeat
as some seem to be -
it never lasts long
at least not with me..
It's hard to fly high
when you ride low -
it's hard to smile
when it's just for show...
Nothing is fulfilling
just more empty words -
thinking it will change
is simply absurd.
It's temporary
anyway -
take it all just
day by day...
Don't get used to
this routine -
things are never
as they seem...
Always be ready
for the new -
moving on is
what's to do...
Don't hold tight
keep at bay -
until it's time to
go away...
and start it all
all over again -
it's not if
it's always when.
They still escape
and rim my eyes -
as I'm left alone
with my cries...
It seems it's just
a waste of hope -
learning again
how to cope...
No one to tell
no one to trust -
doing all the
things I must...
or are expected
to always do -
somehow I have
to pull through.
I will treat you
how you treat me -
it doesn't really matter
who you think you might be...
You are a nothing
inside of my mind -
if you can't be nice
or you can't be kind...
Get out of my face
go far far away -
don't be near me
as I have nothing to say...
Nor do I want to
waste my time with you -
Fuck right off
I have better things to do.
The chains that bind
are locked by you -
you're the one
who must break through...
You care too much
and fret too deep -
you can't undo
so do not keep...
the insecurities
circling around -
keeping you scared
keeping you down...
what was done
and what was said -
living torment
in your head...
let them go
with the cold wind -
you never have to
live it again.
Sometimes we don't make
choices that are good -
sometimes we don't do
what we know we should...
In regretful memories
that break your heart into -
remember you were trying
just to get through...
So give yourself slack
and somewhat of a break -
when you took on decisions
that decided your fate...
be your own best friend
be gentle with your mind -
treat yourself well
and always be kind.
What is there
to look forward to -
what is there
left to do...
been there
done that -
got the shirt
got the hat...
The sun rises
then sets again -
Some with losses
Some with wins...
Nothing exciting
dangling ahead -
close the drapes
crawl in bed...
Not much matters
anyways -
wasted nights
and wasted days.
It's so cold
Inside and out -
filled with remorse
filled with doubt...
What will be
in this icy haze -
what will come
in the coming days...
Hidden away
safe and alone -
even if I hide
in my own home...
From everyone
and tangled pain -
living a life
tryin in vain...
Only to find
it's a waste of time -
living a life that
isn't even mine.
I'm praying for you
from afar -
they don't know
why you are...
living in your
own built hell -
you could try
but could never tell...
the lies you've lived
the tears you've shed -
while others were safe
and tucked in bed...
you were stuck
out in those streets -
they call you lazy
they call you meek...
Sometimes life
just isn't clear -
rise above
the assholes here.
Some situations
you should never repeat -
You were in the fire
and felt the heat...
When betrayed
by those you trust -
tossing them away
is something you must...
learn to let
be part of your life -
let them all go
lose all their strife...
You can be happy
without discontent -
follow their actions
to know what they meant...
Walk away with your
head held high -
they say hello
as you say goodbye.
Be careful who
your friends are -
where you work
and where you are...
Their habits
will affect you too -
you start to do
what you wouldn't do...
You'll realize fast
they need to go -
as you find out
you don't need to know...
how their downfalls
will be yours too -
leave them behind
and focus on you.
I don't know
and starting to not care -
how do I end up
even here or there...
Sick of waiting for
the next tragedy -
what the hell is there
waiting for me...
Take everything
with a grain of salt -
some things are not
laying on my fault...
Let whomever think
what they need to -
there isn't anything else
that I can do.
Dig dig dig
Bury, bury, bury -
when things get
scary, scary, scary...
Don't even know
what was said and done -
Here I go again
another freaking one...
Bow out quietly
hide way below -
facing roadblocks
with nowhere to go.
I no longer hate
I wrapped it with a bow -
it was more than me
it was a whole show...
I gave it away
I no longer cry -
I don't question who
I don't question why...
For deep in my heart
I know the truth -
I was ready to fly
and live in my youth...
I'm so glad I did
now I am healed -
I see from the outside
the fates are sealed.
All you have to do
is wait a little while -
have faith in above
and you will soon smile...
from all the blessings
that come your way -
all you have to do
Is have faith and pray...
Love comes along
when you shed tears -
it might take weeks
It might take years...
Just keep the hope
and never give away -
your belief in yourself
when you stop and pray!
Staring at the
bright blue sky -
Trying to live
before I die...
God knows how
hard I try -
he also sees the
tears I cry...
So many words
cut the heart -
so many people
I must part...
Looking ahead
is the only part -
that gets me through
what I start...
For nothing seems
to turn out well -
I find myself in
another hell...
and I have
no one to tell -
I realize it is
just a spell...
Until this too
is left behind -
is it that hard
to just be kind.
I never thought
I would be sitting here -
Will I still be
in another year...
I am so happy that
good came my way -
here I am smiling
on a sunny day...
Surrounded by space
animals and trees -
living my best life
simply as me...
I give thanks
for this opportunity -
enjoying the views
and the luxury.
Well hello
It's been a while -
I've had some tears
and a big wide smile...
Once again
there I go -
into a world that
I did not know...
I started a job
that's a true dream -
Now I'm there
and it truly seems...
Like it is an
answered prayer -
I won't hold hope
but I'm glad I'm there...
To make the most
of the opportunity -
I'm thankful that
they decided on me.
Finally it's happening
what do I do -
once again
I always knew...
What took so long
I do not know -
but I'm ready now
time to just go...
I have nothing
and no one at all -
looks like I finally
had the last call...
I don't know why
But I won't again -
I'll leave it as just
another friend...
because I feel nothing
for anyone -
except a few people
and my sweet son...
I definitely don't feel
any heartbreak -
it was a waste of time
living life fake.
I definitely won't
choose to believe -
or hold my breath
trying to achieve...
any type
of future there -
maybe not
anywhere...
Existing as
I have for a while -
laying low and
faking a smile...
No more insults
no more hope -
it is over as
I learn to cope.
