The rain comes down
the vines soak it in -
quenching their thirst
as it's summer again...
Soft soaking warmth
trickle down the trees -
as they sway with the wind
and enjoy the breeze...
Green all around
flowers blooming pink -
enjoying the shower
guzzling the drink...
as I get to watch
from my desk view -
feeling gratitude that
it's what I get to do.
It was another
waste of time -
something that wasn't
ever mine...
I tried my best
then walked away -
there is nothing
left to say...
I guess I really
do not care -
life is hard
and never fair...
So here I go
once again -
will I ever
finally win?
In a year
will I still be here -
living this life
with ridiculous fear...
or will I die
as I always cry -
complaining my life
is one big lie...
I've reached the point
without a joint -
living life daily with
no real point...
no happiness
no utter bliss -
no soul purpose
or loving kiss...
I'm dead inside
while I always hide -
this is not for me
to myself I lied.
Who cares bitch
I am gone -
is that all you have
to still go on...
You have nothing
but a desk -
when you're dead
they all will rest...
because you're hateful
for no reason -
because you have no
happy season...
You bring nothing
but a bad day -
as they say
see you next Tuesday.
Feeling down
will it matter -
will my feet
go pitter patter...
or will it be
a waste of hope -
to drive away
and learn to cope...
with rejection
once again -
sometimes I feel
I just can't win...
Yet I put myself
on the line -
I'll see what happens
one more time.
At least I have
some memories -
left to take
away with me...
I was kept
quite far away -
as you lived
your life your way...
Not one to let
anyone intrude -
not even clothes,
cards or food...
I guess you felt
no duty -
even in death
I can see...
I never mattered
much to you -
I always knew
that was true.
Small as a mouse
hidden away -
sneaking around
with no one to play...
Nowhere to go
and there is no cheese -
not a crack in the door
to feel the breeze...
All the other
mice are now dead -
I guess you can't
hide under the bed...
You must get up
and run away -
before they lead
your life their way.
I am hungry
with no appetite -
I want to live
but have lost the fight...
There isn't much
left for me to see -
but I choose to continue
in my dignity...
Because I am
a child of God -
I'm not sure why
the kingdom nod...
but I know
that he loves me -
and I am his
for eternity!
Nobody does
it's all on you -
why did you believe
dreams come true...
Maybe for some
that is the way -
for others it's just
another grey day...
You rise to see
nothing to hope -
you do whatever
you can to cope...
There is no luster
there is no glee -
just living to die
eventually.
It's quiet now
I am alone -
with my thoughts
inside my home...
What will be
where will I go -
the future is something
I can't know...
But I can
try each day -
to do my best
in every way...
and eventually
I will see -
it was all
meant to be.
The lawnmower sound
in the background -
the lazy Sunday
just to lounge around...
I'm so thankful
for another day -
where I am healthy
and able to say...
Thank you Lord
for my blessed life -
for making me
a mom and a wife...
So many mistakes
with lessons too -
is why I gave
my heart to you...
You literally answer
my deepest prayers -
I feel peace knowing
you are always there...
and when this life
is over for me -
in your presence
is where I will be!
Is anything
out there -
is life ever
really fair?
Do we ride
and die -
or just straight
up lie...
Things become
so numb -
the table leaves
a crumb...
as you try
to feel hope -
doing things
to just cope...
with how you
are let down -
and there is
no one around.
The past is left behind
vaporized in the wind -
it is place in the mind
you will never be again...
There may be reminders
a song or a place -
there are happy days
that can never be replaced...
Then there are those
that you have to let go -
release them to heaven
and use them to grow.
Here I am once again
same place different view -
I should be surprised
but it is now nothing new...
Pushed out again
left in the murky dust -
parking in the front
was a final care less must...
I don't want to be
where they do not care -
or where I am the one
who is treated unfair...
I'm not sure why
they treat me that way -
it's the same situation
different place, different day.
I don't know why
I always try -
I'm living it
to just get bye...
People show that
they are mean -
none of them
are as they seem...
Run away
hide your head -
get away
before you're dead -
leave these monsters
in the past -
another hope
that didn't last.
The world is cruel
the people mean -
most of them aren't
as they seem...
Bitter and angry
wanting their way -
speaking quite rudely
with whatever they say...
I've learned to avoid
most that I see -
with any and all
kept away from me...
I walk away quickly
and never look back -
avoiding their hate
and their sneering attack.
Staring out the window
as the cars go by -
wondering where they're going
and wondering why...
Everyone is in a hurry
no time to stop and see -
anyone around them
or the nearby scenery...
Just getting through
when all is in the way -
dealing with the haziness
on another hazy day.
White lines and poster art
watching the sun come up -
somewhere stuck between
too much and not enough...
Wild nights in Texas
I'd say they were the days -
staying skinny while in
a snow blown haze...
We were young with
the world at our front door -
and every weekend
we were looking for some more...
Baggies and razors kept
deep down in our purse -
we thought we'd feel better
but we'd end up feeling worse...
Some are now gone
some names forgotten now -
but every once in a while
I think about how...
We had those...
Wild nights in Texas
I'd say they were the days
staying skinny while in
a snow blown haze.
I can't worry about tomorrow
or dwell on yesterday -
all that I can do now
is to hope, wish and pray...
That everything I do
will lead to a better way -
of living out my life
on another hopeful day...
I've seen a lot of demons
and I've hugged some angels too -
you have to be quite careful
of who you let through...
The lens of your eyes
with what you know is true -
I believe there is a fate
that everything goes through...
So I won't worry now
though it is is hard to do -
I will simply just believe
until all my dreams come true.
Perched up above
looking down at it all -
when you're up high
everything looks so small...
Signs are lit up
a cross shines bright -
as I watch the day
fade away into night...
Will I still be here
in a month or two -
will this be the year
my dreams come true...
So much has changed
with a positive spin -
I'm making the choice
and determined to win.
