Numb

In a year
will I still be here -
living this life
with ridiculous fear...

or will I die
as I always cry -
complaining my life
is one big lie...

I've reached the point
without a joint -
living life daily with
no real point...

no happiness 
no utter bliss -
no soul purpose
or loving kiss...

I'm dead inside
while I always hide -
this is not for me
to myself I lied.