So What

I find my care meter
is quite broken...

I'm over almost anything
I've done before...

Boredom has visited me
for quite some time.

So I'm late
so what...
So I'm broke
so what...
So I'm alone
so what...

So I'm introverted
more than ever before -
with noone to talk to anymore...

Everything is overrated anyway.
So what.

Paths

Some people have money
some people have fame -
some people get by in life
with their last name...

Some people have children
some people are heirs -
some people live check to check
in the debt of despair...

It's an interesting canvass,
This portrait called life...
some people take the wrong path
some choose the right...

There are things we all face
being birth and death -
and the love we give or take
until our last breath.

Falls Creek

Today I saw the waterfalls
beautiful
an hour away...

Yesterday I saw the lakes
the biking and relaxation
an hour away...

The media always
shows the negative
the hoplessness and fear...

when I got home it was waiting here...

but I will think
of nature, rocks and animals...
an hour away.

Spring

Sitting inside...
staring outside..

wish I was there!

Beautiful weather...
Beautiful newness...
Beautiful growth...
Beautiful what...

God does create!

:-)

The flowers are blooming
on the trees out my window...
reminding me that after the cold hard storms
comes the beauty.

Driving to work
I smell the fresh cut grass...
reminding me that after the thunder and rain
the new grows through.

During my day
I see a brand new puppy...
reminding me that even in the midst of turmoil
there is innocense.

Every day is a new beginning.

Dear God

I have hate...
yet God loves me...

I am insecure...
still God loves me...

I have secrets...
God knows them...

I have lied...
God knows this...

I have done wrong...
though God saved me....

I'm undeserving...
God thinks I am...

I am thankful...
Dear God!!!

???

What to do
when the lies are true
when I look into your eyes
and I can't see you...

When my heart is hardened
by this strange view
leaving me confused as to
what it is I should do.

Healing

Ying and Yang
life goes on.....

Tired

Tired -
the day is dragging
in the jail
that pays you...

Surroundings -
can be your friend,
or your worst enemy
Tired...

It will pass
just like everything does
just like everything will
even this...

Tired.

TWO WORDS

WINTER SUCKS!!!

Gone

Fleeing
could be
freeing...

running
far away from here...

Gone -
Vanished -
Left...

no more red face
embarrassment,
humiliation, turmoil, fear
no more tears...

would life take a new turn...

are there new turns...
from the same old grind?

Fleeing
could be freeing

if only
I had somewhere to go
or someone that I know
that sees the door is closed.

Rugs...

Family...
such an interesting assortment...

I see every day in the news
new families
new ideas
and new people making people...

my family -
I feel fortunate
they are in my home
a big responsibility....

But I love
both the male and the furry....
sometimes the furry more,
not really -
or maybe so...

but either way
it is my family...
who I love...
who I would protect....
who I would love nothing
but the best for....

I love you....
family!!!

Pink

They battle in pink...
leave behind precious
children, husbands, family,

but they have hope...

they lose their hair -
lose their eyebrows -
lose their lashes -
lose their breasts -

but they have hope...

some don't survive -
just fighting to stay alive -
some alone have cried -
while their loved ones died -

but they have hope...

no more self pity
for nothing of substance,

no more fear
when some are so strong...
this is the lesson
that needs to be taught all along...

COURAGE, STRENGTH, HOPE.

Reality

Changing the way
I think...

I can not change the world
I can not stop the storms -
I can not control if people deceive me
lie to me or mock me...

I can not stop evil
I can not elimate crime -
I can not stop deception
or create motivation...

What I can do
are eliminate the things
that bring me down -

eliminate the people
who bring me pain -
eliminate the ones who lie,
use me or deceive me...

because I am me -
I ask for nothing
from anyone but freedom...

it doesn't matter what they think
as long as they go away -
and leave things as they were...

independence is a virtue
all should hold near
to feel self actualization...

I trust noone
and I believe in noone
because everyone will let you down.

Eventually.

But right now the sun is out
I am home and safe -
I have a hope that I find

within myself.

ONWARD!

These Days

I look around and see
quite clearly...
things aren't as they
used to be...

the eyes are dead
the smiles are gone,
what once were lovers
have now moved on...

there is no joy
in any I see -
and I know there's none
found within me...

seems like time
has stamped a tear -
in every heart
that grows each year...

No friends to share
special news and hope,
they're just living life
and trying to cope...

This rudeness seems
to have taken them all
saying lies and truth
to make others feel small...

No one is true,
and no one is free -
none are alive
and none are happy.

Letting Go

Let it go
the anger and mistakes
to you and from you...

Let go of those
who bring you down
internally or externally...

and who you do the same...

Close the door
and accept serenity -
from your own soul
that doesn't need anymore of this...

so stop...
listen and let go...
start new now...

just let go.

Work

So...

my much awaited break from work..
has consisted of -

Sickness starting the day of the break...
Coughing fits all night long...
Vaporizer not helping at all -
Drugs with bad side affects -

The car in the shop as of yesterday
for at least two weeks,
tornado watches and warnings
all of today and happening now....

maybe work...
isnt' that bad.

Break

Relax...

Breath it in
the privacy -
the relaxation,
the time to be by myself...

let go of the anger
the grudges of times gone by...
relax
and let in the new high...

can't there be one?
a new chance?
lifes roads are twisted
but somehow...

they have to lead to freedom
of the mind ...
and the memories
that stain our souls...

there has to be hope
in this vast place
because we feel it
if we embrace

what we are
in God' grace
because he will be
the ultimate judge we face -

and will smile
of the job worth while...
or frown
because we let him down.

Without you?

How would it be
if I awoke and you weren't there...
noone by my side
with all the love we share...

The days would be long -
the nights filled with tears
how do you part
after all of these years...

Something special
rained down on me
when I looked in your eyes
and you set me free...

to understand love -
and what a man should be...
How could I cope
if you ever leave me?

Money

I never knew
it would be so hard
just to exist
and swim upstream...

seems it's one thing
after another
every day
and every week...

never eases
for those of us
not fortunate
just living stuck...

in routines
that bend the mind
to troubled hearts
and hard times...

that never seem
to go away
another dollar
another day.