Fog

Did I learn?
Not really 
not their business anyway...

But sometimes -
in the game
win or lose you have to play...

This is not -
an everlasting thing
not even through the year...

When it's done -
and I am relaxed
everything will be clear...

I will play fair -
I will try 
to win the stupid fight...

Yet it won't -
give me grief
and won't keep my up at night.

What Now?

What if you do?
What if you don't?
What if you will?
What if you won't?

In the grand scheme
it doesn't matter at all -
eventually 
you will make the call...

to the next place
where you belong -
know even then 
it won't be long...

until things change
as they do on a dime -
everything evolves
again over time...

So don't think to hard
don't cry to long -
you will soon see
if  you were wrong. 

Winding Roads

Do I want it?
I don't know -
but I'm ready and
off to go...

see if this is
my new thing -
and to show what
I would bring...

Perks and fun or
worry and stress -
I won't go 
I must confess...

It has to be
an opportunity -
to bring more 
happiness to me.

Lava

You are a horrible person
I saw that Karma came for you -
but I won't rejoice 
that's not something I would do...

You sent me in a direction
one I would never go -
but I realize that now
how would I ever know...

I was drowning in hell
demons haunting all around -
and now that I am gone 
not one of those fuckers is around...

You did me a huge favor
so enjoy your life living in hell -
you were just a portion of
my life that I will never tell.

Zip Codes

If I could
I don't think I would -
I'm starting to feel
like I should...

Keep this going
living this way -
I am liking the
day to day...

The palm trees
the salty air -
the beautiful flowers
blooming everywhere...

I've met cool people
I've seen cool things -
I like living here
and what it brings...

It's been scary
it's been a ride -
but I've got family
by my side...

Why go back
when I wanted to go -
just because it 
is what I know...

Now I'm learning
a new zip code -
It was I who said
I'm ready for the road.

String Lights

That was actually
really fun -
maybe the time
has now begun...

Me in the free
dancing in the wind -
I can't wait 
to do it again...

Totally new
and so very nice -
some cool views
some drinks on ice...

A bad ass uber
a very clean town -
only friendly people
hanging around...

I'm joining the gym
I'm driving the streets -
I met who 
I wanted to meet...

I think I'm finally
falling in love -
and living what 
I dreamed of.

Window Seats

It was a willing
choice to be made -
I dreamed, I hoped
I asked and I prayed...

So why does it cause
so many tears -
nightmares, anxiety
filled up with fears...

Thinking back on 
familiar places -
missing a few
lovely faces...

I guess it is fate
it's too late now -
trying to adjust 
to new ways somehow.

Silence

You said what you meant
and meant what you said -
You let it all out
what was inside your head...

Who cares what they thought
or if they'll ever talk to you -
what a relief that their
rude abuse is through...

It's only more closure
that needed to be done -
they aren't in your future
nor or they the ones...

You want to be around
or even ever see -
you spoke the truth and
the truth shall set you free! 

Wings

The choice is up to me
half empty or half full -
scary and dangerous or
just new and very cool...

Regret leaving what I knew
or find new things to love -
worry about my future life
or live what I dreamed of...

Many chapters are written
in this book of days -
so open tunnel vision eyes
and live these better ways...

Where seagulls fly above
white sandy shores -
and driving palm lined streets
is what you are here for...

Live this new experience
that finally set you free -
to live the life you wanted
and where you wanted to be.

Acceptance

Everything I do
seems to fall apart -
I wonder why
I even start...

Just to face
disappointment again -
I wonder if
it's possible to win...

Rejection sucks
failure is hard -
my poker face
can't hide my card...

Just disappear
let everything go -
it's what I've learned
it's what I know...

I can't bloom
in toxic soil -
I bow my head
and just recoil.

Blossom

Dreams really
do come true -
but there is uncertainty
with them too...

Especially when
everything is new -
and you don't know
what to do...

Except enjoy
the scenery -
the flowers, the birds
the greenery...

Taking each day
with what it gives -
Learning about the new
place you live...

This was your dream
for many years -
now wake up
wipe away your tears...

If after this time
you want to go home -
at least you allowed
yourself to roam...

Outside of your known
concrete lot -
Enjoy this time
with what you've got.

Take the Wheel

I'm scared dear Lord
please be with me -
I tremble each morning
as you can see...

I am not brave
and never have been -
what in this world
are we living in...

I pray for peace
and happiness too -
but my only option
is to believe in you...

Please stand with me
each day I rise -
until the time
I am at your side.

NE 33rd

It's been overwhelming
and scary too -
but what is now done
will never undo...

The future is now
the past in the rear -
I'm facing the truth
and all my fear...

I wanted this day
I will try to see -
this huge decision
was brought on by me...

I will check back
a few weeks in time -
and see how I feel
about what is mine.

Highways

There's a brand new life
around the bend...

As my current life 
reaches the end...

of the long ass road
I have traveled...

and now a new road
will unravel...

with a journey of cars
and family near...

I see a future
that is finally clear...

of the same O same O
I complain about...

Here I go
without a doubt...

I hope I love it
as I drive and ascend...

to my brand new life
around the bend.

Rainbows

Sometimes to gain something
you have to let something else go -
Change can be painful
More than you could ever know...

Yet as you walk down
the brand new path you travel -
you realize this has to be
so your new life can unravel...

So let yourself cry hard
and accept your salty tears -
then forge ahead knowing
a new exciting life is near.

Security

I'm scared
actually terrified -
as I pack boxes
side by side...

It's always been
a dream for me -
now that it's happening
I can see...

It will be hard
to leave it all behind -
the life I have built
the life that is mine...

Leaving my job
my beloved house sold -
should I retire here
when I am that old?

Or should I take
a leap of faith -
knowing it may be
one huge mistake...

I've never done this
ever before -
I can't imagine
locking my door...

and driving away
from all that is here -
will I regret it
that is my fear.

Swords

Sitting here
with uncertainty -
what will be
next for me...

Venom spewed
sickness near -
what you mean
is made quite clear...

Stomach knots 
through teary eyes -
humiliation
hidden cries...

No one there
to stand with you -
cutting ties
when binds are through.

Cutting Ties

Is it time 
to finally be -
cut from the ties
that always bind me...

Seeing what
I want to see -
instead of living
forcefully...

Letting go of
what is behind -
with a new daily
sun filled grind...

and never having
to ever face -
the worn-out past
I will erase.

Sunsets

Nobody lives there
Anymore -
So why am I waiting
at a past front door...

They all have moved
or passed away -
there really isn't much
to make me stay...

So take the leap
on this bungee cord -
believe in yourself
believe in the Lord...

Why not live
before you die -
when you hesitate
ask yourself why?

Elevators

He was talented

worldly and smart - 
leaving his impact
in my mind and heart...

Advanced degrees
the corporate ladder -

When money was all

that really mattered...

but I saw sweetness
and showered beauty -
no one will know

any of it but me...

He survived so much
and lived out loud -
I'm sure his family

is very proud...

I think of him
a lot lately -
I hope he is
resting and free.