Security

I'm scared
actually terrified -
as I pack boxes
side by side...

It's always been
a dream for me -
now that it's happening
I can see...

It will be hard
to leave it all behind -
the life I have built
the life that is mine...

Leaving my job
my beloved house sold -
should I retire here
when I am that old?

Or should I take
a leap of faith -
knowing it may be
one huge mistake...

I've never done this
ever before -
I can't imagine
locking my door...

and driving away
from all that is here -
will I regret it
that is my fear.

Swords

Sitting here
with uncertainty -
what will be
next for me...

Venom spewed
sickness near -
what you mean
is made quite clear...

Stomach knots 
through teary eyes -
humiliation
hidden cries...

No one there
to stand with you -
cutting ties
when binds are through.

Cutting Ties

Is it time 
to finally be -
cut from the ties
that always bind me...

Seeing what
I want to see -
instead of living
forcefully...

Letting go of
what is behind -
with a new daily
sun filled grind...

and never having
to ever face -
the worn-out past
I will erase.

Sunsets

Nobody lives there
Anymore -
So why am I waiting
at a past front door...

They all have moved
or passed away -
there really isn't much
to make me stay...

So take the leap
on this bungee cord -
believe in yourself
believe in the Lord...

Why not live
before you die -
when you hesitate
ask yourself why?

Elevators

He was talented

worldly and smart - 
leaving his impact
in my mind and heart...

Advanced degrees
the corporate ladder -

When money was all

that really mattered...

but I saw sweetness
and showered beauty -
no one will know

any of it but me...

He survived so much
and lived out loud -
I'm sure his family

is very proud...

I think of him
a lot lately -
I hope he is
resting and free.

Bye

Don't allow disrespect
for no reason -
Realize everything
has its season...

Why allow it 
to happen again -
Only your choices
can make it end...

This may be
the next step -
because I'm done
with all of it...

I deserve a
smile on my face -
sometimes history
must be erased.

Droplets and Puddles

The rain is coming down
in my temporary home -
down in Corpus Christi
I wish it were my own...

Where the birds chirp happily
and the ocean gives its waves -
while my dogs are running restlessly
trying to behave...

We are all a bit sunburnt
I really want to stay -
Though I know in the morning
we will have to go away...

but for now I will savor
the pretty pool in my view -
and appreciate this trip
trying not to feel so blue.

Timelines

It's sooner than you think
when you won't anymore -
it won't be much longer
you walk through a new door...

This will all be
Just a distant memory -
with new things in store
waiting for me...

What annoys you now
will never again -
just like times before 
this time will end...

So suck it up while
you roll your eyes -
and look forward to
these future goodbyes. 

Locket

I don't want to
but I have to let you go -
the pain that this causes me
is more than you could know...

My heart still loves you
but I can't cry anymore -
I can't change the outcome
so what am I trying for...

I will still talk to you
and pray to meet you soon -
especially when I'm alone
tucked up safely in my room...

I think you would want me
to go and live happily -
as I keep your memory near 
within my heart safely.

Move?

Well I made it
another year -
thanks to God
I am still here...

Great things 
are up ahead -
I wouldn't live them
if I were dead...

So thank you God
for this birthday -
I get really sad 
but not today...

I will give 
my thanks to you -
because it's you
who got me through...

many trials
and turbulent times -
but those are now
left far behind...

I see the beach
with a new zip code -
Come on God
I'm ready for the road. 

Temporary

Tick Tock
I watch the clock -
knowing this isn't
all I've got...

I see the sun
smiling on me -
where I am gone
and I am free...

I'll never see you
ever again -
I can not wait
until then...

For now I will
stay far away -
waiting until
that excellent day.

Locks

It cuts like a knife
yet numbs the pain -
it's all in a past
I won't live again...

So many regrets
just useless sighs -
it is a long way
from the last goodbyes...

Pointless searching
answers here and there -
though life has changed
everywhere...

The future's ahead
the past is behind -
keep searching for any
happiness to find.

 

Bye

I push it down
I pray it away -
even though
It shows up each day...

Am I wasting
what time is left -
what is given
and what is theft...

because I don't
feel it anymore -
I don't even know
what I'm here for...

I think it finally
reached the end -
I won't go through
this again.

Paths

It's ok to
change your mind -
things change
through time...

What once was
completely fun -
now seems so
over and done...

Maybe it's age
but I see -
nothing matters
much to me...

Except what
I keep near -
it's getting smaller
with each year...

So live these days
and try to smile -
we are only here
for a while.

Helium

It was exciting
flying so high -
seeing the sights
soaring through the sky...

Eyes wide open
wind blowing fast -
never thinking
it would not last...

Promises laid out
deals made in pen -
until disappointment
happened again...

The heavy door closed
slammed in the face -
no longer feasting
in the golden place...

Packing up memories
that ended too soon -
crashing to the ground
in a hot air balloon.

Pierced

Reaching out 
into the darkness
blinded by no light -

Swimming endlessly
in rapid currents
it is fight or flight...

Ego eccentric
from bygone days
is far from sight...

Angels smiling
at cornered demons
ready now to fight...

Broken clocks
death bells knock
deciding when it might....

End confusion
and past illusion
during the final night.

Notice

It's about to get
really real -
I'm about to see
how I really feel...

Everything is
going to be -
changed in 
some compacity...

It is one thing
or another -
being a wife
and a mother...

I will always
be here too -
when love is all
you can do.

Candy

Numerous times
I believed in something
that didn't even exist...

Blindly following
fake smiles and lies
sealed with a kiss...

Words are spoken
never to be believed
awaiting the diss...

Pretzels and ice cream
the salty and sweet
sugar coated bliss.

Gates

With spring around the corner
will I find new life -
because I feel so down
dealing with constant strife...

I am trying to see sunshine
and appreciate each day -
But sometimes it is easier
to keep the sun far away...

I hide in my turmoil
then drown in my tears -
questioning what I have left
and how many more years...

I don't see much hope
why should I even care -
I am just existing 
sick and tired of being there. 

 

Tidal Waves

I can't save the world
I can just abide -
I couldn't even keep
my precious dog alive...

I can't be a savior
or heal the dying -
I can't prolong life
or stop all the crying...

I can only be the best
person I can be -
and believe in my heart
there is eternity...

Where all of this mess
will drift far away -
I will try my best
to live each day...

Striving to be someone
that others will see -
I care about them more
that I care about me...

and bring a smile
to those that are broken -
lifting them up with
gentle words spoken.