Now what
I supposed it is me -
why can't I
leave it all be...
Maybe it's time
to kick the can -
the wrong place
is wherever I am...
It never works out
only for a time -
nothing is really
meant to be mine...
quiet as a mouse
hidden away -
closing the door
as I walk away.
Here I sit just
two weeks in -
it seems that
I can not win...
I'm very sick and
on my own -
Yet, I'm happy
to be all alone...
This year has been
a crappy start -
my dog died
and broke my heart...
Now I sit with
some kind of flu -
I wish I could
just make it true...
Finally move to
the salty air -
because I am over
and do not care...
to live here
even one more day -
I need to finally
move far away.
I stand alone
and from afar -
way away from
where they are...
I've always been
quite intrigued -
though to them
I mean nothing...
but I longed
to go there when -
I was young
about to begin...
My favorite trip
was the PCH -
I'd go back
I wouldn't hesitate...
My prayers
are lifted there -
Broke or rich
I truly care.
There's only one set of paw prints
when there should be two -
it's now been a week
since I devastatingly lost you...
The snow comes down
I wish you were here to see -
I know you'd run around
searching for squirrels under your tree...
I am so heart broken
can you hear me call your name -
I have accepted my life
will never be the same...
No one will ever
understand how I feel -
I keep waking up
wishing this wasn't real...
My love my angel
I need you next to me -
Just like the weather
I am left cold and so icy.
I'll head home
you won't be there -
I'll search for you
everywhere...
Buddy will whine
and look around -
but my baby
won't be found...
I will endure
another night -
missing you
tucked in tight..
So many things
we did every day -
now I cry
the night away.
Facing the day
I wish it wasn't true -
I'm about to head home
and there won't be you...
Watching you die
is haunting my heart -
I am in disbelief
I am torn apart...
I have to go on
with responsibilities -
I hope that you knew
what you meant to me...
I just keep breathing
but all is so dark -
it is hard to live
with a broken heart.
Let the yard grow over
let the house fall apart -
let all of my surroundings
match the state of my heart...
Let the world stop turning
let my life fade away -
I don't see me wanting
to enjoy another day...
So many loves I have lost
time is only cruel -
I have nothing left in me
I have no more fuel...
I don't care to rise up
and face the week ahead -
I literally hope inside my soul
that I can now be dead.
Like a beautiful ray of happiness
she left as fast as she came -
and I know in my broken heart
life will never be the same...
I've had her since she was eight weeks old
and loved her with all of my heart -
the fact that she is already gone
is painful and has broken my heart...
How will I ever go on
as I keep on breaking down -
When I sit in our special places
it kills me she is not around...
I don't understand why this happened
why did she have to go-
there was so much life left to live
I guess I will never know...
I hope somehow she feels that I
am devasted and love her so -
Oh my baby, my precious pup
why did you have to go.
I wish I could call you
but you are gone now too -
I am feeling hopeless
and don't know what to do...
You always made me see
sad things from your view -
you always made it better
and helped me to pull through...
I need your honest humor
and voice to make me smile -
I need to sit on the patio
and visit for a while...
I hope that she found you
and together you will be -
in that place of paradise
waiting patiently for me.
While everybody lives
I'll just die away -
I don't think I can take
living another day...
No more heartache
no more tears galore -
I don't even know
what I'm on earth for...
Just one more thing
to tear me into -
I should realize
this is nothing new...
Feeling so down
feeling torn apart -
just go on and take it
I don't need a heart.
Can I? Will I?
I don't know...
Why did my baby
have to go...
She held on as
best she could -
I did all they
said I should...
Now all have is a
ball of her hair...
I hold it close because
she's not there...
There is nothing else
I could do...
My heart is broken
right into.
No one will ever
feel like I do -
I don't even know
if I'll pull through...
I reach out my hand
to touch her fury face -
she was always beside me
that was her place...
How will I get through
this horrible pain -
what was the purpose
what did it gain...
She still had life
I tried in vain -
why is she gone
nothing is the same...
My heart is shattered
my stomach in knots -
my head is pounding
with depressing thoughts...
This is just horribly
terribly sad -
I'm torn apart
and yes I'm mad...
My precious girl
I'll love you till I die -
Let your ghost visit me
as I lay here and cry.
While the world celebrates
I'll sit here with my tears -
It is another heartbreak
and all of my worst fears...
There is nothing I can do
as once again I see -
it is inevitable
as she lies next to me...
The scar on my body
will last through my life -
but it is not as large
as the heartbreak of goodbye...
I pray for a miracle
I beg for health to return -
I suppose this is the price
when will I ever learn...
Love is full of pain
and only a matter of time -
until what you loved
has left you behind.
Trying to keep it
together again -
as I battle this
sadness within...
Wondering why
she fell so ill -
Questioning always
how does she feel...
Can she hold on
and end up ok -
will this illness
please go away...
I can't lose another
love of my life -
this year has been
such deathly strife...
Please get well
I love you so -
Precious Sasha
please don't go.
I never hold on
I just look back -
to those moments
that I now lack...
I visit like a ghost
just drifting bye -
no attention needed
no reason to try...
I revisit times
that are far away -
none of it matters
in the current day...
Maybe I looked up
to people that I knew -
not realizing what
I would go through...
but I was there
in a distant memory -
remembering what
will never again be.
I'm doing all I can
to keep you alive -
My only wish is
that you survive...
I miss you and
that personality -
I'm begging you
not to leave me...
Many fun times
lay out ahead -
Many warm nights
snuggled in bed...
We need you here
for the dynamic duo -
get well my baby
please don't go.
I don't belong
anywhere -
Not over here
not over there...
It is always
one more thing -
with all the chores
that my life brings...
Running around
in all directions -
with my choices
as my reflections...
Regrets always
make their way -
as I live this life
one more day.
When cut
over and over
the scar tissue heals...
It becomes
so tough
you can no longer feel...
It's almost
as if
it is void of pain...
That area
will never
feel the same...
Rip off
the band aid
and throw it away...
You never
deserved
to be hurt that way.
I literally love him
more than anything -
when I see him arrive
what joy it brings...
He's so adorable
and precious too -
he's my angel
through and through...
He brings his dog
and hangs for awhile -
he makes me laugh
he makes me smile...
the best blessing
I've ever had -
is my sweet son
and I'm so glad...
that he is here
and I'm able to say -
thank you God
for another day!
I don't want to
but I will -
because that is
the real deal...
If you want money
you play the part -
if you want love
you give your heart...
It's a transaction
no matter who -
it's up to you
what you do...
life is just
a trading game -
you learn the tricks
or you go insane...
but you must always
follow through -
because your future
depends on you.
