Erased

I was up so high
I never realized I could fall -
until I hit the ground
and faced a brick wall...

In the beginning I had hope
to grab a brass ring -
until I saw the truth
that it didn't mean a thing...

I tried will all my might
though even I couldn't see -
why I lost my way
or what it meant to me...

I will never know
what happened to my mind -
I just know it's gone
and left me far behind.

Bye

I have learned
it all again -
no more tears
when I can't win...

letting them go
and slamming the door -
there is no reason
to come back for...

I have left
and I will heal -
learning how
to never feel!

Reality

Three years now
to the date -
it went full circle
and now it's too late...

The shiny lights
the hopeful heart -
was just an act
from the very start...

a foolish burden
that I couldn't bear -
not that it matters
when they don't care.

Sting

Learn -
Feel...
Leave it -
Heal...

I think now
it's all behind -
Dealing with
a realistic mind...

As I put on
my suit of steel -
I'm learning how
to never feel.

Doors

I guess I came through

to the other side -

I try to count how many 

tears I've cried...

Yet here I am

Still on my two feet -

making progress

even through defeat...

I will accept it

I will let it go -

how it affected me

only I will know...

Learning to never

get that close again -

because it only

bites you in the end.

Shooting Star

I tried to catch a shooting star
so bright I couldn't see -
the heat was way too hot
and high and mighty for me...

I tried to capture the bright light
only to be led into the dark -
getting so lost along the way
I almost fell apart...

I may never see
a shooting star again -
but now I know to never grasp
what burns you in the end.

Front Seat

Emerging out of the darkness -
the scary days of haze...
not knowing where to go -
existing through the phase...

of uncontrolled emotion -
gripping from inside...
nowhere to run -
and nowhere to hide...

running through the streets -
searching my way home...
learning once again -
I'm better on my own.

Reflection

One day I will awake and find
I have stopped -

looking...
hoping...
dreaming...

It will have slipped away like water
through my fingers -

unable to be kept...
unable to be grasped...
unable to be mine...

yet...

I will be cleansed and somehow
through its mirrored reflection -

I will find a rainbow
has appeared.

Broken

I feel so small
through it all -
from so high up
it was quite a fall...

No safety net
to soften the blow -
the only choice
was to finally go...

The solitude
will embrace the new -
when there is nothing
left to do...

but lick the wounds
that stabbed my soul -
from when I slipped
and fell so low.

Ripped

The finale
and facing regrets -
I didn't know
how to deal with it...

I wasn't strong
and was so wrong -
I acted a fool
all along...

Rain pounding
like my heart -
never knew
it could rip apart...

and leave my soul
torn into -
I just didn't know
what to do.

Done

I've wasted too much time
of this life of mine -

Chasing a rainbow dream
that wasn't what it seemed -

Now I hope to go
and never again show -

How stupid I can be
just trying to be me -

I'll let go of the past
and be free at last.

Desire

Is it possible -
to climb over
the towering gates of hell...

Is it possible -
for anyone
to hear the damned yell...

Where witches dance -
and spells are cast
to send one to their knees...

Where evil tempts -
and binds its victim
never to be freed...

Where blood is shed -
and torment taunts
dangling drops of love...

And the victim cries -
out for mercy
to the one above...

To cut the chains -
to free the cuffs
holding the one in fire...

To lose the hope -
or kill the soul
of the hopeless filled desire.

Regrets

Quiet
and reflective -
never again deceptive...

Learning
the hard way -
what never to say...

Letting
the drowning end -
running away again...

Fleeing
what ties me down -
never to be around...

What
tears me apart -
and always breaks my heart.

Ice

The day it went out
cold water, red face -
finally realizing
it was never my place...

Too much life wasted
too much life lost -
It was never even worth
the very high cost...

Fools learn the hard way
what a fool can do -
just sitting back as they
make one of you...

Numbness is freeing
the best way to feel -
stepping back into reality
and what is real.

Match

Does the enemy consist
of love or desire -
wanting the one
who flames the fire...

Yet tantalizes with
such a fatal kiss -
leaving obsession
behind in the midst...

Of a total breakdown
aimed at the heart -
never to mend what
was torn apart...

Left to smolder
in hopeless desire -
burned alive after
playing with fire.

Bees

From passion to pain
inhaling the dark -
that final message
leaving her spark...

Upon a cold world
though she wouldn't see -
her death had already
come to be...

She called upon no one
there was none to call -
That novel of everything
was nothing at all...

Forbidden fruit
secrets and lies -
Receiving his invitation
to die...

Her soul to eternally 
haunt his path -
tragic a love
to love like Plath.

Ghost

I've been so weak
for way too long -
I'm determined now
it's time to get strong...

I've been a fool
for too much time -
I'm learning to reclaim
this life of mine...

If someone doesn't see
if someone doesn't care -
it's time to walk away and
no longer be there...

If you don't mean anything
and they are everything to you -
slamming that door shut
is all that you can do.

Searching

Will the sun
ever shine again -
and dry up this wetness
that just won't end...

Will Spring bring
a brand new chapter -
and change all of what
I have been after...

Will time lead
this weathered path -
towards new found peace
freedom at last...

Will my distance
bring me back around -
where the me I've lost
can be found.

Silhouette

Alone and full of
thoughts that only confuse -
feeling quite low
feeling quite used...

The rain pouring down
on a window to dark to see -
it's time to ride this storm out
knowing it has to be...

Acceptance with turmoil
it doesn't matter anymore -
facing the truth
there is nothing to go back for.

Drawbridge

She stopped her heart
of the pitter patter -
realizing that
it doesn't really matter...

Her hair couldn't quite
reach the ground -
to free her from the castle
where she was bound...

So she gave up
and let it go -
no matter how much
she loved it so.