Thoughts

It doesn't matter
what they think...
I can honestly say
I am over it...
their opinions...
their lives...
their issues...
their insults...
their lies...
I can see the light
the tunnel -
was never there
in the first place.

Turtle

I have a shell
I welcome it...
turtle, introvert
alone and alright...

The things they've
said and done -
have led me down this path
this disconnected plight...

I don't need them,
anyone actually -
they were the ones
who carefully taught me...

When wounds heal
the scar tissue is hard -
and gives you strength
to set their words free...

from love, from care
the welcome it brings -
because I don't feel
any of those things...

I am comfortably numb
and the future will be -
me avoiding them...
and them avoiding me.

Doors

She'll never be
what she dreamed she'd be -
Her eyes have seen
too much travesty...

She joined in
when she should have left -
she let go of
what she should have kept...

and now her future
is a twisted mess -
from a closet of lies
that she never confessed.

Lessons

A broken spirit
tongues that sting -
is this what they
are supposed to bring...

What is trust?
does it even exist -
if you went far away
what would you miss...

I've heard their words
I've seen actions quite rude -
I've been around their eyes
and their mean attitude...

I've fallen out of love
with any that I believed -
would be a good heart
that would never deceive...

For that is all a lie
deviance in the mind...
which is why I have no problems
leaving it all behind.

Growing Up

I saw a little boy today
cap, roller blades,
knee pads -

Blond hair
bending over...
I could see you again -

like you were then...

a pain twinged my heart,
brought a tear to my eye,
the happiest moments of my life -

have always been
you and I...

It hurts sometimes to know
you'll never be that size again...

I love you just as much now
as I did then...

The time comes when the mom
closes the door alone -
and watches you drive away

from your home...

and it hurts
through easy smiles -
and it taints the heart

for a while.

Looking Up

Ten, Twenty
Thirty or more -
how long we're on this journey
no one can be for sure...

There are only two facts
that each one here can share -
Birth and death
and that the journey isn't fair...

But as we look deeper
it's easy to see -
some things we take for granted
are given to us free...

treetops and mountains,
rivers and streams,
the greeting from your dog -
last nights wild and vivid dreams...

the smell of fresh cut grass,
the crackle of a fire,
the smell of springtime rain -
passion and desire...

a birds nest there to greet you
with chirping from within -
as you leave your home
to do it all again...

yet see that in this world
so scary, cold and dead...
Life and smiles are everywhere...
if you just lift up your head.

Choices

Life comes at you crazy...
not sure if you're heading up
or heading down...

We hit the streets so hazy...
more news of destruction
one more tattered town...

but here we are
we're all the same -
just different faces
with a different name...

on the same boat
just trying to stay sane -
in a world that looks away
as we try in vain.

People come out of nowhere
to leave a legacy
of tears and dispair...

Causing tragedies to hard to bare...
have they not a heart
or learned how to care...

Could it be that life's not fair?
I say it's our choice
the legacy we share.

Good Riddance

So interesting -
I've learned
the shadows from my past
are easy to flee...

Letting go -
isn't abandonment
yet it is a part of life,
the path to being free...

The faces -
I've seen
are not a reflection,
not a mirror of me...

Nor do I owe -
anyone anything
no answers from my lips,
no sight for them to see...

my commitment's -
lie in my heart
I answer to myself alone,
whether or not they agree.

Somewhere Out There

You breeze through my mind
like a scent in the wind -
reminded of a time
that I will never visit again...

In dreams you appear
and I wake only to see -
you're a ghost of my past
a sweet memory...

I can search all I want
follow the paths I have crossed -
yet any type of treasure
is buried and lost...

I wonder in my heart
do I ever cross your mind -
for like the sweet summer wind
you breeze through mine.

Cause and Affect

Healing
After
They
Expose
Reality

Reality

Lies
Ostracizing
Vicious
Ending
Repetitive

Getting Closer

I'd call it a
self fulfilling prophecy -
If I hadn't seen it
coming directly towards me...

I'd call it sad
and possibly a sin -
If I hadn't found out everything
back then...

I'd call it a chance
redemption to a new -
if I had some kind of
feelings for you...

I'd call it sad
if my emotions could care -
I'd shed a tear
if I had any left to share.

Mighty

Majestic -
beautiful
eyes of courage...

fur that shines
beneath the sun...

Animals

Great and small
I love them all...

I wish I could save
the ones in the cages -

I wish for freedom
on this land -

that once was theirs...

What have we done?

Progress?

as the earth wittles away
the stars fade, the sun beats...

The animals die
for no reason...

Land is taken
for more land scaping -

can't we see
it was perfect before.

But they plow
and they grow
and they build...

yet I know...

Animals
Beautiful
Majestic

gives life power.

Stone

Labor -
and hard
some vacation
some work harder...

Soreness -
yet
something is finished
that wasn't there before...

Relaxation -
will come
in evenings
after work days...

because -
of labor and work
vacation
provides.

Motivation

About to move
in oxygen..
to feel -
to think -
to breath...
To sweat
and get
the benefit -
of challenging
the essence
of me...
Time to
begin again
oxygen!

Gratitude

Thank you God for
health, wealth
and prosperity.

Thank you for
sending your son
to die for me...

Thank you for
saving my son
September 9, 1992...

Thank you for
giving me a heart
that believes in you...

Thank you for
protection when I
don't deserve it...

Thank you for
wisdom to understand
what we're dealing with...

Thank you for
a home, a car
a job, and a mind...

Thank you for
compassion
and eyes that are kind...

Thank you God
for a mammaw
that taught me to see...

cleanliness and independence
are goals we should all
strive to be...

Thank you for
the men in my life
that have come through...

Thank you for
another day
to give thanks to you!!!

Smiling

Happy
so happy
don't mean to be
incredibly sappy -
but here I am
smiling ear to ear
what the happy hell
is going on here...
laughing, loving
and having a ball
excited about the future
the craziness of it all...
Time has come
and time has gone
could this have been
the plan all along..
happy
so happy
feels good
just like I always should!

Final

I see the point
the end of this
the end of it all...

they must have courage
and some spunk
to make the final call...

Guess I'm weak
because in my mind
I dangle the plan...

Yet wake again
for nothing much
to live with who I am...

alone and bored
with nothing new
and sick of them all...

Wish I had
the strength of them
to make the final call!!!

38 Special

Driving along
I hear a song
that brings back memories of you...

I fade to a time
when you were mine
young love that felt so true...

Innocence lived
when I kissed your lips
you brought me flowers and sprees...

We laughed at jokes
while learning the ropes
and parked beneath the trees...

Saturday nights
with dates so late
movies and popcorn full...

Promises spoken
bound to be broken
there's life after school...

I hear you're married
with kids in tow
I'm happy your life is well...

I can't help but see
you face in my heart
like the stories those memories tell.

Lightbulb

Let it happen
Let it be -
Let something finally
go right for me...

Let this hope
come into fruition -
Let this all be
a smart decision...

I want so bad
to make this new -
I pray so hard
this can come true...

Ideas of life
can be the end -
of a life headed
in a downward spin...

I have the goal
smart as it seems -
please let this become
an accomplished dream.