I can't feel
at least not now -
this world has gone
insane somehow...
Hope in the future
is gone with the wind -
I suppose normal
will not be again...
What is there to gain
in this debauchery -
who wants to live
anything but free...
I don't get it
and I never will -
everyone needs
to fucking chill!
It's quiet
and relaxing -
after so much movement...
I'm thankful
for my blessings -
and all that I have...
Nothing is more
important -
than who we love...
and who loves you...
because I do...
love you!
It was a beautiful view,
crystal clear
relaxing,
better things ahead...
Until the dirt
was tossed,
and tossed
and tossed again...
So thick
the view was gone,
too muddy to climb
too thick to shovel,
so dirty
it wasn't worth it anymore.
Down about
being worn out -
not much to be
happy about...
Another day
to drizzle away -
I hang my head
and quietly pray...
That this will end
very soon -
there is no hope
nor is no room...
Nothing matters
nothing is alive -
the world is gone
and all has died.
Raggedy doors
concrete floors -
blood drips down...
Dilated
then stimulated -
no one is around...
running through
is nothing new -
as I race towards the sign...
that let me know
where to go -
and find this life of mine.
Sending it
quietly -
I wish I had
you with me...
You are so
far away -
I miss you
and yesterday...
The dance
was so surreal -
I never knew
I could feel...
I still don't
even know -
why it all
had to go.
Welled up
from the inside -
no need to try
no need to hide...
Just floating
passing it by -
no need to think
no need to cry...
It's always been
this messed up way -
since that time
and long ago day...
What I'd give
to actually know -
why I ever even
said hello.
He drove country roads
with a big wide smile -
in a pick up truck
for mile after mile...
with his loving wife
right by his side -
they always enjoyed
a nice country drive...
He lived his life
as a Godly man -
as a loving husband
and a football fan...
He always had a joke
and a silly grin -
he was a happy dad
and a faithful friend...
He strummed guitar
to John Denver songs -
while those around
would laugh and sing along...
He wore a cowboy hat
with jeans and boots -
he knew how to survive
he knew how to shoot...
He loved his mom
and the Lord above -
he was an example
of strength and love..
Though it is hard
and broke hearts into -
there was nothing left
anyone could do...
wanting to go home
was his dying wish -
so we bid farewell
to his heavenly bliss.
Until we meet again...
Uncle Doug 1955-2021
Oh dear Lord
another day -
has come along
and I must say...
I thank you Lord
as you give -
hope and strength
in this life we live...
Until that day
I'm at your feet -
and in your glory
I will weep...
As for now
I will push through -
my dear Lord
I believe in you!
It's quiet -
my thoughts are
loud...
Sometimes -
I am alone in a
crowd...
Living life -
is usually lived
best...
When you are -
no longer concerned
with the rest...
Because really -
think it all
through...
Who in the hell -
is concerned with
you.
I'm happy
doing what I want -
I don't need to be
the thirsty debutant...
I'm free
doing what I love
I have risen
so far above...
The wannabee's
it's not where it's at -
I can be thankful
I didn't buy into that...
All those behind
are dust in my wake -
I have no time for diamonds
that are fake.
Why am I always
too nice...
Apple spice -
While paying
the high price...
of dealing with
quite insane...
Same mundane -
I won't even
say their name...
Jealous fools -
with stupid rules
past uncool...
See ya!
I so enjoyed
the sand and sea -
where I know
I need to be...
Coming home
is bitter sweet -
one day I will
live on the street...
that leads to a
sunny shore seabed -
seagulls and palm trees
overhead...
Where music comes
from barefoot men -
where smiles light up
from within...
I've always known
since my first time -
I need to finally
make it mine!
Will I
or won't I -
as these
days go by...
Why worry
what's true -
when there's nothing
you can do...
Maybe space
and time -
will relax
these nerves of mine.
I have regrets
oh yes, a few -
I have things
I should do...
I have thoughts
I wish would leave -
I have beliefs
I can't believe...
Yet here I am
until I'm dead -
while in this life
I move ahead...
No matter who
is by my side -
I will live
while I'm alive...
Don't let the tears
ruin your day -
and please leave
when you can't stay.
It comes once a week
not needed and used...
It's loud and not pretty
tossed out and abused...
It's looked down upon
thrown out with the rest...
It's pushed away rudely
not considered the best...
It's taken for granted
no care if it's gone...
and so it goes freely
when it's time to move on.
The day the parade
went away...
It never existed
back in the day...
It was a fragment
of the mind...
That faded and
disappeared over time...
There were never
any funny clowns...
Just hidden illusions
to let you down...
Pretend it's all
been one bad dream...
Things are really never
as they seem.
Sitting and
just looking out -
dealing with
inner self doubt...
Will there be
a brighter day -
when the storms
all go away...
Stuck in
the same routine -
that doesn't even
mean a thing...
I wonder where
this will lead -
and when the chains
will all be freed.
Don't let
it stop you -
do what you
need to do...
Keep on going
for the win -
accidents will
happen again...
Laugh it off
heal your wound -
work will pay off
really soon...
Hold your head
cure yourself -
you are your
only help.
As they went
so shall we -
so shall you
and so shall me...
All of it
just swept away -
no more night
and no more day...
Such is fleeting
such is pain -
eventually
nothing will remain...
All is done
no more strife -
no more future
no more life.
Cry when you
need to cry -
when you have questions
ask yourself why...
Be careful who
you open up to -
most people don't
care about you...
Leave regrets
where they should be -
then take back
your own dignity...
Nothing that's here
will last that long -
believe in yourself
and remain strong.
Why oh why
do I do it again -
I wish I could go
back to when...
This wasn't even
a part of me -
now I know
and plainly see...
It shouldn't be
part of my life -
with my own hands
I twist the knife...
realizing how
I never will -
I'm choosing that
and to heal.
How can it
be full -
when it's empty...
How can you
you starve -
when there's plenty...
How can it
be good -
when it's bad...
How can you
smile wide -
when you're sad...
How can you
reach high -
when you're low...
How do you
face reality -
that you know.
I saw another place
I wanted to see -
I've taken my life back
living for me...
Rid of what I
didn't like anyway -
No one to control
any part of my day...
I am so free
and can clearly see -
I'll never again be
where I don't want to be.
It's that time
to come to life again...
I feel so happy
like I did back then...
The weather is warm
as the sun shines bright...
The days will last
into the warm night..
Spring and summer
is life for me...
I am content
and so happy!
It's snowing in Texas
big flakes coming down -
a perfect day for romance
and laying around...
I'm baking some cupcakes
and making good food -
flowers, candy and candles
are setting the mood...
Loving and cuddling
this cold day away -
Watching funny movies
staying warm where we lay...
Enjoying the beauty
with a white window view -
fur babies close by
sharing my love with you!
I don't feel
loved by you -
I feel hated
through and through...
Boundaries
don't abound -
Someday soon
I won't be around...
I just don't know
why I do -
I regret the moment
that I met you.
Get that shovel
to dig that hole -
once again
hide like a mole...
It is time
to start brand new -
I don't know really
what to do...
Hands tied tight
stuck together -
Insecurities
that aren't sure ever...
Hide away
like you always do -
and avoid them all
it's nothing new.
Have you ever felt
two inches tall -
like you don't even
matter at all...
Where people can't
treat you right -
where the world is dark
without any light...
You'd run away if
you had somewhere to go -
but there is no point
and you feel so low...
So all you do is
exist through the day -
wondering how
it ended up this way.
Let it all go
roll off your back -
Turn it all off
fade to black...
Don't hold on to
past irritations -
enjoy your life
take some vacations...
Dismiss the people
who bring you down -
get rid of who and what
should not be around...
Ghost when needed
hold close what is true -
follow your own path
do what's good for you.
I have those regrets
that haven't left just yet...
I wish I had not followed
advice that was hollowed...
Now it's only me
left alone to see...
How stupid I have been
and wish that I had then...
Turned and left the scene
but that's a worn out dream.
It takes me back
to a place in time -
when we were young
and you were mine...
We were so innocent
fresh and new -
with the world ahead
so much to do...
You were funny
so very kind -
we talked on the phone
all of the time...
Date nights out
on those Saturday nights -
young kids in love
with silly fights...
Those were the days
no one can take away -
I think fondly of you
to this very day.
I would drive -
I would wish upon a star...
I would dream
just us alone in my car...
The melodies
would flow through the air...
Me lost in thoughts
while getting us there...
Independent
single and free...
It was my youth
it was you and me...
Influences and lyrics
so many now gone...
But those dreams
and our memories live on.
We're not promised
anything -
Nor can predict
what life will bring...
Every day
is a new start -
So give your all
and share your heart...
Try to be
a beacon of light -
for those who've lost
the will to fight...
Always hold out
a helping hand -
for those who need
an honest friend.
The sun still rose
flowers still bloom -
I can look forward to
Christmas lights soon...
The people that need
to be gone are gone -
I found my strength
and moved totally on...
Never ever again
will I even allow -
a stranger in my life
to my here and now...
I won't even speak
or address them again -
a lying piece of shit
disguised as a friend.
And just like that
she was healed -
anything remaining
was killed...
She held her head
up and high -
disregarding who
she should walk by...
No longer could
they control her day -
no longer did she
want them to stay...
Her journey is
quite nice and bright -
she sleeps at ease
every single night.
Sometimes you have
to let go of what's gone...
Sometimes you just
have to move on...
It might sting
or it just may bite...
But you have to give it
all your might...
You can't keep near
what is gone...
You just have to
move the hell on.
All I can ever
do is try -
even as the years
fly bye...
I give what I can
with each new day -
while I'm here
to live and say...
Try with all
your mighty might -
do what lets you
sleep well at night...
Speak the truth
and work each day -
to only bring
good things your way.
Keep your head down -
while you look around...
like the FBI -
an investigative spy...
keep it deep within -
don't let it out again...
years from now you'll sigh -
as this will have blown by.
You just have
to let it go -
deep inside
you already know...
So do your plan
quite quietly -
you're in charge
of your destiny...
Maybe you did
and maybe not -
here and now
is all you've got...
Just keep on
keeping on -
until the memories
are gone.
You don't watch
for the ball -
before it's pitched...
but when it comes
your way -
you hit as best you can...
It doesn't mean
a home run -
could end up in the dug out...
You could also
never even -
participate in the game.
Wrapped in a blanket
snow on the windows -
safe and secure...
The past is behind
like smoke from the fire -
making images blur...
Disappearing into the air
as though they were never there...
dancing ahead -
While the hearth is warm
as the snow drips down -
and covers what is dead.
From the inside
to the out -
it is time
without a doubt...
Step away
from any ding -
disappear
from anything...
Incognito
taped up shut -
no more eyes
filled with smut...
It will be silent
for quite a while -
as time buries
this messed up pile.
Yes you
know what to do -
it's time to do
what you need to...
You know how
to draw those blinds -
and leave it all
far behind...
You can't keep
reliving the days -
while floating through
the dust and haze...
You have done it
many times before -
cut those lines
and lock the door.
I won't hide
or live in more fear -
Just like everyone else
I belong here...
I have my challenges
I have my gifts -
No longer will I
give a shit...
Say what you want
do what you will -
I really don't care
how anyone feels...
When it comes to
my life and my choices -
no longer do I have
to hear their voices...
Or even ever
see their faces -
It's amazing what
time erases.
There's a love
within my arms -
that I welcome
with all charms...
I have many
that I love -
I have the life
that I dreamed of...
Those ladies
who had the tea -
who knew someday
that would be me...
Yet, I'm content
and so happy -
to share my life
with who loves me!
