Erase

I won't anymore
because I don't care -
I won't search
trying to find what is there...

I'm so glad
it is all in my past -
I won't try to make
the memories last...

In fact already
they are fading away -
I wish I never went
that very first day.

Patio

Full circle
with a twist -
who knew it would
turn out like this...

the latest lips
that made me come -
are from where
I had first begun...

Now I know
I'll make it through -
with the ones I want
who want me too.

Flight

She ran
ran so far away -
to hide from
the tears of that day...

to empty all
the vain attempts at love -
to realize she
has all she's dreaming of...

to walk away
from voices not to be -
the guidance to
where she will be free.

Wisdom

I knew,
and now I know -
enough to let it
all go...

I was shown
the whole story -
before I had my
fall from glory...

when what is said
and what is done -
are different things
I was the one...

who figured out
and turned away -
I'm so thankful
for that day.

Bling

You hurt me
it won't happen again -
I have the insight
for my heart to win...

My own smile
My shattered self esteem -
when you're gone
you don't mean a thing...

so don't try
to act as though you care -
because when you do
you'll see that I'm not there.

Yep

It's fresh
and it's new -
doing what
I want to do...

Letting go
of what's behind -
taking control
of things this time..

Glad to see
some are here -
glad to know
that this year...

I will be
free and clear -
from those who don't
belong here.

Porch Light

Like the plaque
I ran away -
can't even try
to face that day...

afraid of what
I might see -
afraid sometimes
to just be me...

Hidden like
a quiet mouse -
tucked away
inside my house...

No I can't
come out to play -
once they're gone
leave it that way.

Buried

Whatever
I could not care -
you never were
even there...

Just a user
with a smile -
who I believed
in denial...

Now it's gone
what never was -
I'm going to change
just because...

I won't let trash
rot my head -
I won't hope for
what is dead.

Bible

Will they choose
to give into their sin -
or will they decide
to let the angels win...

Will they act upon
all their fleshly desire -
or will they gamble
on the promised scripted fire...

Will they bow their heads
and seek in prayer -
for deep inside us all
we knew he was there...

or will they choose
to look away with pride -
and turn their back on
the son he sent that died...

to take our place
when death becomes real -
as we stand before our Lord
where every man will kneel.

Locks

When something
is not meant to be -
fate will let you know
so you can be free...

The truth always
somehow makes a way -
to make sure you
are not led astray...

When the door
is closed nice and tight -
you can be assured
it was what was right.

Delete

It's strange that
I don't care anymore -
I'm free from all
of what happened before...

I don't love
or even like who is gone -
I can't believe
I let that all go on...

It makes me sick
when I see their face -
stupid things I did
I can never ever erase.

Success

I try as
I look up the hill -
holding my cup
and trying to fill...

it up so high
it will overflow -
and cleanse my heart
so that I will know...

I tried my best
choosing the right ways -
that led me to
my happiest days.

Holes

The pick
and the ice -
what now is cold
used to be so nice...

Realization
it was dead -
because it knew
where it was lead...

Stares that show
empty eyes -
all the shadows
to despise...

Nothing left
and nothing there -
the chill left it
lifeless and bare.

Gone

Disappeared
but was already gone -
never again
will I keep on...

trying to make
up for those times -
The only choice
is to put it behind.

White Out

After you
see the lie -
let it go
and let it die...

don't let hate
control your heart -
just move on
don't fall apart...

once someone
proves they don't care -
erase the past
and leave them there.

Never

I see the truth
and I see you -
there is no reason
to go back to...

Just wasted life
and wasted time -
I didn't even think
about what was mine...

I never wanted
to be with you -
and it is something
I will never go back to.

Thankful

I picked myself up
after the fall -
and realized that I
actually have it all...

I have everything
that I ever dreamed -
I am now living
what had always seemed...

so out of reach
and not meant for me -
yet, here I am in love
happy and free!

Cleansed

Sometimes
we make mistakes -
you think it's love
then it's too late...

to take back what
you wish you could -
in hindsight
it was never good...

So accept the fact
the bad is gone -
and smile as you
move happily on.

Wave

I didn't want it
so I let it go -
now it's a life
I used to know...

Manifesting
the coming time -
where I am happy
and success is mine...

to make all
my dreams come true -
I had to say goodbye
to what I knew.

Silent

When it's time
to let them go -
cut it off
and let them know...

by your silence
you are gone -
that it is time
to move on...

and look back
when it's all done -
happy because
they weren't the one...

You needed
within your soul -
it was time
to let them go.

Acceptance

I don't have
to be on the road
as rain is pouring down...

I don't have
to face anyone
I don't want to be around...

I'm safe and
I am so secure
as I'm tucked away...

I always used
to dream of this
and wanted this each day...

So now I have
what I knew
would happen at some time...

I can let got
and see what's true
and enjoy this life of mine.

Regrets

I guess the one good thing
I can say...

is that I quietly
walked away...

I didn't force or keep on
with trying...

even though at the time
I was dying...

I kept it all within
myself...

I gave it all my own
self help...

I crossed the bridge
and didn't fall in...

I still don't know
what I was thinking then.

Voicemail

After a while
the constant chipping
leaves you incapable
to feel anything...

As you find
you are only numb
and never available
to feel any pain...

There is no reason
to rise in the morning
or any reason
to try at all...

As you find
you are only existing
because you can't
make the final call.

Ghost

I will never
see you again -
I've accepted
this undeniable end...

I don't want
to even hear your name -
I've left behind
what was insane...

I won't cry
or look to the sky -
I won't pray
or hope I die...

because you tore
my heart into -
I will never again
see you.

Goodbye

I'm letting go
I'm moving on -
I'm accepting
what is long gone...

It hurt my heart
it hurt my mind -
but now I see
it was the time...

To move away
and set it free -
those who weren't
meant to be for me.

Mistakes

I guess they can say what
they want to say
it's probably true...

drag it through the dirt
with a big x mark
target to shoot to...

I wish I'd never even met
anyone of them
and it wasn't true...

the things that happened
and the regretful decisions
that I can't undo.

Yuck

It wasn't me
It was you -
so glad to heaven
it is through...

I don't even know
how I fell -
into that nonsense
and into hell...

I'm not even sure
what I was thinking -
listening to a no one
my self esteem shrinking...

You are nothing
and now I see -
it was you
it wasn't me.

Karma

Well well well
what the freaking hell -
you never can know
and you never can tell...

I guess that karma
really does have a way -
of quietly popping up
and surprising you one day...

Just when you think
those that did you wrong -
will never have to face it
and happily go along...

You see for yourself
after they stabbed you in the back -
they eventually turn around
and get their own knife attack.

Changes

I've been hurt
lost my self esteem -
been a victim of
the nice and the mean...

Been let go
and walked away -
cried many tears
on many a day...

I'm trying now
to change for good -
to do the things
I know I should...

To repair this heart
and right the wrong -
to do what I wish
I had done all along.

Bye

No contact
ever again -
not your family
and not your friend...

learning now
there is no one -
I need in my life
or in my home...

I found the truth
and the way out -
protecting myself
without a doubt...

because they
all lied to you -
so never contact
and be totally through.

It Happened

So very glad that
I weeded the weeds out -
so stupid I see
was me without a doubt...

I can't believe
I lowered myself so low -
now I am amazed at
how far I'm going to go...

with the fluttering wings
and the prayer from above -
I'm done with that darkness
and living what I dreamed of.

The Years

Went through the pictures
So much has changed -
Yet, as I look
Some have remained the same...

Maybe what is gone
needed to go on and go -
and what left with death
was God's perfect choice so...

I have to accept
everything happens for a reason -
some people are for life
and some for just a season...

I can't keep kicking myself
for all the mistakes I've made -
I can't take anything back
with time I supposed they'll fade...

All I can do now
is pursue what is in store -
and learn from all I've lived
letting go of what is no more.

Clicked

Snapped
out of it -
I will get as
good as I can get...

Smart
and moved on -
I'm actually glad
that it is all gone...

Solitude
and relaxing for me -
putting my focus
on where it should be.

Up Hill

If somebody walks
just let them go -
You learned a lesson
and now you know...

They weren't meant
to be there for you -
the season you shared
is officially through...

So onto the next
new lessons to live -
and never look back
they have nothing to give.

Missing You Always

You visited me
last night in my dream -
to eat a hamburger
and you seemed...

quite fine and happy
totally at peace -
I woke from the dream
with complete ease...

but I thought of you
and how I miss your smile -
the day you left
was the hardest in a while...

you made the impression
that will never fade -
the day that you died
was one of my worst days.

Photographs

So I sit and wonder
what now -
will I survive happily
some how?

Is the road I've followed
good for me -
Do I have an ever after
that is happy?

Did I do the right thing
once again -
how will this crazy story
ever end?

Will I smile and realize
one day -
everything had to happen
this way.

Peaceful

It's quiet,
just the smooth jazz -
I'm learning
to trust what I have...

I remember
the goals from then -
as I apply
putting my life to them...

Cutting ties
with things that held me down -
allowing only positive
to be what is around.

Saved

The power
that heals -

sent angels
to reveal -

how stupid
I've been -

and lost
in complete sin -

then I was
saved -

from those
horrible days.

Thank you God.

Bye Haters

There is
a lot of good
in this cruel sad world...

and I want
to be the shining
good girl...

I'm making
a turning
point finally...

I will
now only
believe in me.

Freedom

What it is that
I'm failing to see -
is that I am
completely free...

I don't have to deal
with anyone -
I can spend my days
just having fun...

I don't have to drive
in concrete hell -
I don't have to listen
to anyone tell...

me what I
should think or do -
out with the old
and onto the new!!

Goals

It's gone
because I let it go...

I've learned
and only I can know...

I've felt
pain and happiness...

I've made
my own type of mess...

I've decided
to start fresh and new...

I'm dedicated
to do all I can do.

Small Seats

Dear God
I'm going to
Florida today...

Thank God
I get to
get away...

Refresh
and cleanse
and leave it behind...

Focus
on myself
and try to be kind...

To my
self esteem
that is ripped away...

Dear God
let me find it
and show me the way.

Answered Prayers

Just be quiet
disappear -
You'll look back
in about a year...

and see how stupid
you have been -
and feel so silly
to remember when...

you almost threw it
all away -
you'll be glad for this
some day.

Will

You will
laugh again...

You will
be glad for the end...

You will
move on with life...

You will
love being the wife...

You will
feel healthy one day...

You will
be glad you walked away.

Awake

Hated and
manipulated -
verbally abused
more than one time...

Life vest
strapped -
to my chest
to save this life of mine...

Lied to
deceived -
eyes of hate
stabbed from behind...

Truth shines
brightly -
awoken to reality
I'm awake this time.

Tremble

Nothing -
Exactly what
you're going to do...

Never -
look back
it really wasn't you...

Shaking -
I see
what is really true.

Healing

You will look back
and see for sure -
this was what you needed
to endure...

It's for the best
as all things change -
and really it doesn't
mean anything...

Except it is
the best for you -
out with the old
and onto the new.

Deleted

I deleted anything
to do with you -
the pictures, emails
what we went through...

I closed it all
and shut it away -
it's gone and now
it's a brand new day...

You weren't good
at all for me -
you were about yourself
and now I see...

how you blamed it
all on my mind -
but you were the one
that was the angry kind.

Left

I don't know
what I did -
Stupid decisions
lived...

Saw the numbers
and wasted smiles -
living alone
and in denial...

I guess I'll go
and get away -
maybe that
is where I'll stay.

Next

Saw for myself
the outed traitor -
the one who was
the instigator...

the one who said
it's only change -
the one who is
what is deranged...

the one I hope
I never see again -
this chapter has
reached the end.

LIE

It can't be over
if it never was -
believing someone
just because...

living a lie
so stupid to see -
the dumbass fool
again was me....

Goodbye sweetheart
you were a lie -
and I can say
finally goodbye.

Numb

It just doesn't
matter anymore -
the water has iced
like never before...

There is no feeling
it is all gone -
I don't even care
what lies beyond...

The eyes are dead
a distant sight -
goodbye to it all
and goodnight.

Moving On

This I promise
to myself -
to never again
feel like I felt...

No more headaches
and broken hearts -
to never care and
just never start...

Never trust
what I hear -
this is now
crystal clear.

Good Riddance

They do not know

and do not care -

so why pursue

what is not there...

In solitude 

I'll find my way -

on my own

until my dying day.

Saved

I'm going
to be alright -
It was with myself
that I had the fight...

Always worried
they didn't want me -
how could I
have lived so blindly...

It was I
who didn't want them -
filled with terror
lost in sin...

I'm actually glad
that I am now free -
the one who was lost
and found was me.

Glass Shards

I won't reach out
to touch anything -
it's the only way
to avoid the sting...

I won't look back
or figure it out -
it's time to learn
to go without...

I won't try
to mend broken glass -
that is shattered into
and would never last...

with only epoxy
to hold it together -
the cut it left
was there to sever...

any attachment
to something not real -
the pain of the cut
left nothing to feel.

Bling

Never again -
This my friend
was the end...

who even -
cares anymore
there is no score...

and it will -
be forever
no more.

Left

A new leaf
has turned over -
the spring blew
the past behind...

I have wished
on the four leaf clover -
and I have found
what is mine...

I don't need
what is behind me -
what I've left
is far away...

So I can smile
for in reality -
I have found
a brand new day.

Space

What have I
learned -
I suppose it's
all earned...

The only good
I can say -
is being able
to hide away...

Maybe
it was time -
and maybe
I'll be fine...

After all
they are gone -
and I finally
move on.

Silence

Another one
gone..
Once again
I move on...

Learning
one more time...
To trust
this life of mine...

Is not
to be shared...
with those
who supposedly cared...

but really
needed more...
than you
could provide for.

Tears

Everything changes
year after year...
in a blink of an eye
what you hold dear...

is gone in a second
leaving you in the dust...
where do you turn
and who do you trust...

Not really sure
what I should think...
sit alone and cry or
crawl in a hole and shrink...

Memories came
but are left far behind...
with everyone's tears
especially mine.

Path

Left
far away
in the past...

Right
I see
parts of me...

Dormant
coming alive
I can thrive...

Vision
to follow
no longer hollow.

Fortune Cookie

I just don't know -
I suppose I'll find out...

What's ahead -
what it's all about...

It was the blind -
that lead the way...

At least I hid -
and went away...

There may be -
a future breakthrough...

To try once again -
is all I can do.

Kingdom

The fool
looked in the mirror
and asked the reflection...

What have I learned? -

The reflection
looked back said
apparently nothing -

Any success is earned.

Whatever it is
that keeps you awake
or allows you to sleep in peace...

Knowing the difference
between what you want
and what you need -

is what will set you free.

Tall Trees

Not sure why
all the hate...
I never did anything
to them anyway...

I'll build my walls
and protect my heart...
I'll save myself
before I fall apart...

Find my privacy
no matter how...
no matter the price
I won't give up now...

Hide and seek
and run far away...
I don't care anymore
what they think or say.

Blank Slate

Alone -
in a million ways...
by myself
in a lonely haze...

Just trying to be
what I want inside...
I can't even count
the tears I've cried...

Learning to live
understanding life...
dealing with anxiety
and so much strife...

Yet, I will try
to make it through...
as I wonder
what do I do?

Chords

Oatmeal cookies
after school -
the fire going
in the brick hearth...

My mom teaching
all the piano lessons -
little naps
on the blue bean bag...

Innocent times
with not much money -
dinner was welcome
the sink of dishes weren't...

The radio played
appropriate music -
the TV aired
appropriate shows...

People had class
and spoke with integrity -
unlike now
such a spite filled world...

I'll close my eyes
and think of when -
there was a time
I would live again.

Away

Nobody
or anywhere..

Hide away
it's finally fair...

Out of touch
and locked away...

Where I live
where I'll stay...

There is no one
I want to see...

Just me alone
finally free.

Passage

Foggy
absent of light,
Uncertain path -

Running
a new direction,
pacing myself -

Looking
over my shoulder,
but why -

Laughing
through the tears,
new life.

Check Mark

Run away
don't ever look back..

Focus on your strengths
and not what you lack...

Leave them all
in the dust behind...

Change your views
and change your mind...

You don't owe
anyone anything...

Just disappear
and find a new dream...

Live quiet and alone
and just being you...

Turn a new stone over
as you will get through.

Circus

Hidden
and humiliated
once again embarrassed -

the shame game...

Disappear
just gone
never see anyone -

forget my name...

Maybe
after years
and changing everything -

I can regain...

Hope
new growth
self esteem established -

and the end of pain.

Kiss

It's done, and it's quiet,
and that's ok
I have nothing left to say...

what a ride it all has been
I didn't try
and I didn't win...

at least not yet
because I foresee
finally happy times for me.

Faithful

I care about my dogs
more than anything...

Just to be with them
and the joy they bring...

Sweet and soft
so furry too...

My precious angels
I so love you...

Through all my life
my best friends were...

Covered in love
Covered in fur...

I'm so thankful
as I snuggle them to me...
 
That I love them
and they love me.

Flowers

It's weird
how you move on -
You look back
and they are all gone...

People that
you used to know -
you forget their names
and on you go...

But they meant
something to you -
life went bye
and you were through...

with that time
you won't have again -
but I'll never forget
a true and honest friend.

Smile

The truth is
you're going to die -
I don't know how
and I don't know why...

But one day
your breath will end -
Deny it all you want
but that's how it ends ...

So everyone
that is wise should see -
enjoy your damn life
take it from me.

Stars

Flowing -
like the river
and the stream...

Flying -
experiencing all
kinds of different things...

Seeing -
things I've never
seen before...

Freeing -
because it's not
my life anymore...

Happy -
because I
can chose what I pursue...

While watching -
my real dreams
come true.

Fireplace

There is no place
I'd rather be -
than in my home
quiet and free...

My furry friends
beneath my feet -
the sounds of my home
are so sweet...

Safe and secure
away from the crazy -
my private oasis
to be nice and lazy...

I love to be
just tucked away -
I thank God above
for where I stay.

Crock Pot

Stepped upon
then walked on -
until all trace of
hope is gone...

Pushed quite
far away -
with all of
the perks at bay...

Never meant
much of anything -
a phony life
with a phony ring.

Bye

I actually cared
I don't know why...
the reality is
we're all going to die...

Even the ones
who did you wrong -
who laughed in your face
as they strung you along...

who used you daily
for their own greed -
then threw you away
but you were freed...

from all the stress
and people who should go -
out of your life
that you don't need to know.

So I say goodbye
can't say I miss it -
I believe it is true
I no longer give a shit!

Sidewalk

It's a chain
it's up to me to break -
It's a cord
there is no no mistake...

It's a weight
I weigh myself down -
It's water that is so deep
you nearly drown...

It's a sprint
to get far out of here -
It's the face of reality
with the face of fear.

Axe

Sometimes you have
to let people go -
they never understood
and they don't know...

So sometimes it's good
to leave them behind -
and move forward
leaving them behind...

Not everyone should be
a happily ever after -
what makes you happy
is the only factor...

When you find
it's time to cut the chains -
break yourself free
and appreciate who remains.

Ribbons

I can't take it back
any of it -
so it's time to learn
to not give a shit...

Say what you want
talk out loud -
I'm still alive
and can be proud...

of a lot of things
that I've done right -
maybe not lately
but that's alright...

I still have time
to win this race -
it ain't over until
I win first place.

Thanks Anyway

They were
never the end -
because they were
never your friend...

Just a box
wrapped in a bow -
wanting you
to be the ho ho ho...

but you said
no no no...
and packed your bags
to go.

Wings

I've been lost
for quite some time -
trying to find
the path that's mine...

Trying to see
if I have a place -
staring at the demons
I have to face...

that want to throw
me down the well -
with a one way ticket
into hell...

while an angel
flutters her wings -
telling me there
will be better things...

and not to beat
myself up anymore -
that's not what I'm
on this earth for...

that I have value
just like everyone else -
it's just right now
I need my angels help.

Delete

I won't
ever again -
I finally have
reached the end...

Glad to be done
glad to be free -
I don't need you
and you don't need me...

I always knew
because I always do -
for some reason
my thoughts come true...

Now to totally
get rid and let go -
of any lingering person
I don't need to know.

The Bird

Hated...
Just thrown away -
out like the trash
on another trash day...

Not needed
Not wanted any more -
Not appreciated
shown out the door..

May have been
just wasted time -
as the world moves on
once more left behind.

Armor

Be careful who
you give your all too -
because you will find
they just used you...

Taking whatever
they can get -
and then move on
and totally forget...

anything about
that you thought was true -
because they already got
your all from you.

Weeds

What can you do?
Walk around and mope?
Throw it all way -
or hold onto hope...

So what if they're gone
so what if it's done -
It wasn't the right time
or wasn't the one...

Quit hanging on
to what makes you sad -
and move to the future
leaving out the bad.

Orange

Try as I might
I still feel -
with all the regrets
I try to heal...

With all I've learned
and all I've done -
I sit alone
and stare at the sun...

Wishing somehow
that ball of fire -
would clench my soul
and my desire...

Hair blowing
the sunroof open wide -
with a smile on my face
as I ride...

far away
no care at all -
time for a road trip
into fall.

Wish I Could

I really don't want
to be on this planet anymore -
In fact, I can't figure out
why I'm stuck her for...

Rude people
mean faces -
I long to leave
and totally erase...

my carbon footprint
my life at all -
I hate it
and can't wait to fall...

and be dead
and done with it -
I really no longer
give a shit!!

Future?

What do I want?
Do I even know?
Should I stay...
or should I go...

Do I even care
what else is out there -
Just moving along
with the wind and a prayer...

I used to think
there was something for me -
I used to have dreams
I was able to see...

A future so bright
I would wish on a star -
I had so many hopes
that I actually went far...

from an underage mother
with my sweet child in tow -
Yet, I still believed
how could I know...

That it would never happen
I would never have a place -
Maybe my future
is not in the rat race.

Sigh

Oh well...
what the hell -
never can say
and never can tell...

Moving on
because it's gone -
Don't rest unless
you stay too long...

Lessons learned
they're surely earned -
because mistakes
leave quite the burn...

I miss those days
before the craze -
but now it's just
a worn out haze.

Bye

Watch it yourself
do it yourself -
I'm not here
for your self help...

No more giving
any of my time -
to any person
who treats me unkind...

I'm not on this earth
to cater to you -
I'll do what the hell
I want  to do...

I really couldn't care
if I see you again -
I'm not your servant
I'm not your friend...

Enjoy yourself
and have a nice day -
when people use me
I just walk away.

Box

Streets named after them
and still dead -
a life of hopes and dreams
were all ahead...

It doesn't matter the amount
in the account -
because every single person
will amount...

to ashes to ashes
and dust to dust -
no longer in the world
to live with us...

and one day too
there will be -
dust upon ourselves
for eternity.

Transparent

It's two inches tall
and doesn't matter at all -
Just invisible visions
that no one ever saw...

Existing for no reason
a different day a different season -
Only to be used
until the next one is leaving...

Regrets mesmerized
left alone to be despised -
Just one more hanging head
using a smile for a disguise.

Sunrise

I took a little drive
down memory lane -
reminding me who I am
and I am the same...

Finally getting back
to what is actually real -
of where I should be
and what I should feel...

Sometimes disappointments
get in the way -
that's when you learn
to rely on the day...

when you knew who you were
without a doubt -
and embrace the you
that you can't live without.

Empty

It doesn't matter at all
that four letter word -
so much has been emptied
it has been absurd...

Could be a good
million miles away -
none of it matters
at all anyway...

No lesson to learn
no memory to cherish -
just another time
to crash, burn and perish...

the hole was quite deep
just like what will follow -
an emptied out shell
with everything hollow.

Puppies

This is where
I want to be -
surrounded by love
and the sweet furry...

away from the world
away from the mess -
this is what I want
I must confess...

all to myself
with all that I love -
this is the life
that I'm dreaming of.

Fences

Questioning it all
while I'm here -
through another day
through another year...

Another saddened state
as confusion abides -
left with the only choice
but take cover and hide...

Will there ever be
peace within the soul -
maybe eventually
when I finally go.

Window

Living on the edge
of more tears -
one more time
after all these years...

I played the fool
and said my worst fear -
now it's just quiet
as I see things clear...

Never again reveal
and avoid all I can -
keeping it to myself
is now the plan.