Angels

You would be
in your twenties now -
if the outcome had been
different somehow...

I wonder what
you would have been -
if that had not  
happened then...

The bathroom blood
my agonizing cries -
the trip up the mountain
when I heard your goodbye...

It was traumatic
it tore me into -
I felt the guilt of
not cherishing you...

Because when I did
and became aware -
it was too late
you were no longer there...

I pray from my heart
the sign was true - 
Don't worry mommy
I'll look after you.