Be careful who
your friends are -
where you work
and where you are...
Their habits
will affect you too -
you start to do
what you wouldn't do...
You'll realize fast
they need to go -
as you find out
you don't need to know...
how their downfalls
will be yours too -
leave them behind
and focus on you.
I don't know
and starting to not care -
how do I end up
even here or there...
Sick of waiting for
the next tragedy -
what the hell is there
waiting for me...
Take everything
with a grain of salt -
some things are not
laying on my fault...
Let whomever think
what they need to -
there isn't anything else
that I can do.
Dig dig dig
Bury, bury, bury -
when things get
scary, scary, scary...
Don't even know
what was said and done -
Here I go again
another freaking one...
Bow out quietly
hide way below -
facing roadblocks
with nowhere to go.
I no longer hate
I wrapped it with a bow -
it was more than me
it was a whole show...
I gave it away
I no longer cry -
I don't question who
I don't question why...
For deep in my heart
I know the truth -
I was ready to fly
and live in my youth...
I'm so glad I did
now I am healed -
I see from the outside
the fates are sealed.
All you have to do
is wait a little while -
have faith in above
and you will soon smile...
from all the blessings
that come your way -
all you have to do
Is have faith and pray...
Love comes along
when you shed tears -
it might take weeks
It might take years...
Just keep the hope
and never give away -
your belief in yourself
when you stop and pray!
Staring at the
bright blue sky -
Trying to live
before I die...
God knows how
hard I try -
he also sees the
tears I cry...
So many words
cut the heart -
so many people
I must part...
Looking ahead
is the only part -
that gets me through
what I start...
For nothing seems
to turn out well -
I find myself in
another hell...
and I have
no one to tell -
I realize it is
just a spell...
Until this too
is left behind -
is it that hard
to just be kind.
I never thought
I would be sitting here -
Will I still be
in another year...
I am so happy that
good came my way -
here I am smiling
on a sunny day...
Surrounded by space
animals and trees -
living my best life
simply as me...
I give thanks
for this opportunity -
enjoying the views
and the luxury.
Well hello
It's been a while -
I've had some tears
and a big wide smile...
Once again
there I go -
into a world that
I did not know...
I started a job
that's a true dream -
Now I'm there
and it truly seems...
Like it is an
answered prayer -
I won't hold hope
but I'm glad I'm there...
To make the most
of the opportunity -
I'm thankful that
they decided on me.
Finally it's happening
what do I do -
once again
I always knew...
What took so long
I do not know -
but I'm ready now
time to just go...
I have nothing
and no one at all -
looks like I finally
had the last call...
I don't know why
But I won't again -
I'll leave it as just
another friend...
because I feel nothing
for anyone -
except a few people
and my sweet son...
I definitely don't feel
any heartbreak -
it was a waste of time
living life fake.
I definitely won't
choose to believe -
or hold my breath
trying to achieve...
any type
of future there -
maybe not
anywhere...
Existing as
I have for a while -
laying low and
faking a smile...
No more insults
no more hope -
it is over as
I learn to cope.
No one can say
that I don't try -
even when
I wonder why...
I do it all
once again -
whether I lose
or even win...
Living life
on the edge -
makes me know
that I pledge...
to give it all
my very best -
win or lose
it's all a test.
Shot down
to the ground -
why am I
even around...
Surely there's
a better place -
wasted life
waste of space...
why is it
I even try -
I sit and ask
myself why...
Nothing is here
nothing is new -
they are rude
through and through...
Always treated
with disdain -
a nothing life
a losing game...
Quiet as
I always am -
frankly I don't
give a damn.
You know what
you need to do -
be see through
it's nothing new...
Don't reach out
don't appear -
be unavailable
and never near...
Don't respond
not at all -
don't text back
avoid the call...
They are not
on your side -
the truth is that
they always lied.
Once again
I guess I'll see -
if this one is
right for me...
All I can do
is try again -
ignore the negative
and don't give in...
to their words
that hurt the heart -
learn to never
fall apart...
as I'm held
bound with glue -
until I make my
dreams come true.
I've learned well
to avoid them all -
keep quite quiet
and safely small...
Just look away
never on display...
You don't belong
with them anyway...
So much rudeness
so much strife -
I won't deal
in this worldly life...
So many times
I learn once more -
to just walk away
and shut that door.
The rain comes down
the vines soak it in -
quenching their thirst
as it's summer again...
Soft soaking warmth
trickle down the trees -
as they sway with the wind
and enjoy the breeze...
Green all around
flowers blooming pink -
enjoying the shower
guzzling the drink...
as I get to watch
from my desk view -
feeling gratitude that
it's what I get to do.
It was another
waste of time -
something that wasn't
ever mine...
I tried my best
then walked away -
there is nothing
left to say...
I guess I really
do not care -
life is hard
and never fair...
So here I go
once again -
will I ever
finally win?
In a year
will I still be here -
living this life
with ridiculous fear...
or will I die
as I always cry -
complaining my life
is one big lie...
I've reached the point
without a joint -
living life daily with
no real point...
no happiness
no utter bliss -
no soul purpose
or loving kiss...
I'm dead inside
while I always hide -
this is not for me
to myself I lied.
Who cares bitch
I am gone -
is that all you have
to still go on...
You have nothing
but a desk -
when you're dead
they all will rest...
because you're hateful
for no reason -
because you have no
happy season...
You bring nothing
but a bad day -
as they say
see you next Tuesday.
Feeling down
will it matter -
will my feet
go pitter patter...
or will it be
a waste of hope -
to drive away
and learn to cope...
with rejection
once again -
sometimes I feel
I just can't win...
Yet I put myself
on the line -
I'll see what happens
one more time.
At least I have
some memories -
left to take
away with me...
I was kept
quite far away -
as you lived
your life your way...
Not one to let
anyone intrude -
not even clothes,
cards or food...
I guess you felt
no duty -
even in death
I can see...
I never mattered
much to you -
I always knew
that was true.
Small as a mouse
hidden away -
sneaking around
with no one to play...
Nowhere to go
and there is no cheese -
not a crack in the door
to feel the breeze...
All the other
mice are now dead -
I guess you can't
hide under the bed...
You must get up
and run away -
before they lead
your life their way.
I am hungry
with no appetite -
I want to live
but have lost the fight...
There isn't much
left for me to see -
but I choose to continue
in my dignity...
Because I am
a child of God -
I'm not sure why
the kingdom nod...
but I know
that he loves me -
and I am his
for eternity!
Nobody does
it's all on you -
why did you believe
dreams come true...
Maybe for some
that is the way -
for others it's just
another grey day...
You rise to see
nothing to hope -
you do whatever
you can to cope...
There is no luster
there is no glee -
just living to die
eventually.
It's quiet now
I am alone -
with my thoughts
inside my home...
What will be
where will I go -
the future is something
I can't know...
But I can
try each day -
to do my best
in every way...
and eventually
I will see -
it was all
meant to be.
The lawnmower sound
in the background -
the lazy Sunday
just to lounge around...
I'm so thankful
for another day -
where I am healthy
and able to say...
Thank you Lord
for my blessed life -
for making me
a mom and a wife...
So many mistakes
with lessons too -
is why I gave
my heart to you...
You literally answer
my deepest prayers -
I feel peace knowing
you are always there...
and when this life
is over for me -
in your presence
is where I will be!
Is anything
out there -
is life ever
really fair?
Do we ride
and die -
or just straight
up lie...
Things become
so numb -
the table leaves
a crumb...
as you try
to feel hope -
doing things
to just cope...
with how you
are let down -
and there is
no one around.
The past is left behind
vaporized in the wind -
it is place in the mind
you will never be again...
There may be reminders
a song or a place -
there are happy days
that can never be replaced...
Then there are those
that you have to let go -
release them to heaven
and use them to grow.
Here I am once again
same place different view -
I should be surprised
but it is now nothing new...
Pushed out again
left in the murky dust -
parking in the front
was a final care less must...
I don't want to be
where they do not care -
or where I am the one
who is treated unfair...
I'm not sure why
they treat me that way -
it's the same situation
different place, different day.
I don't know why
I always try -
I'm living it
to just get bye...
People show that
they are mean -
none of them
are as they seem...
Run away
hide your head -
get away
before you're dead -
leave these monsters
in the past -
another hope
that didn't last.
The world is cruel
the people mean -
most of them aren't
as they seem...
Bitter and angry
wanting their way -
speaking quite rudely
with whatever they say...
I've learned to avoid
most that I see -
with any and all
kept away from me...
I walk away quickly
and never look back -
avoiding their hate
and their sneering attack.
Staring out the window
as the cars go by -
wondering where they're going
and wondering why...
Everyone is in a hurry
no time to stop and see -
anyone around them
or the nearby scenery...
Just getting through
when all is in the way -
dealing with the haziness
on another hazy day.
White lines and poster art
watching the sun come up -
somewhere stuck between
too much and not enough...
Wild nights in Texas
I'd say they were the days -
staying skinny while in
a snow blown haze...
We were young with
the world at our front door -
and every weekend
we were looking for some more...
Baggies and razors kept
deep down in our purse -
we thought we'd feel better
but we'd end up feeling worse...
Some are now gone
some names forgotten now -
but every once in a while
I think about how...
We had those...
Wild nights in Texas
I'd say they were the days
staying skinny while in
a snow blown haze.
I can't worry about tomorrow
or dwell on yesterday -
all that I can do now
is to hope, wish and pray...
That everything I do
will lead to a better way -
of living out my life
on another hopeful day...
I've seen a lot of demons
and I've hugged some angels too -
you have to be quite careful
of who you let through...
The lens of your eyes
with what you know is true -
I believe there is a fate
that everything goes through...
So I won't worry now
though it is is hard to do
I will simply just believe
until all my dreams come true.
