Faith

I'm afraid
but I'm stepping out -
I'm trying something
that I've only dreamed about -
Will it happen
I don't know -
but I never will
If I don't go -
and try.

Candles

Smile...
sometimes the cake
has icing...

Sometimes
the presents
are wrapped in silver...

Sometimes
the bows
are full of glitter...

Sometimes
the parties
are fun...

sometimes it's true
and I am the one...
who smiles!

May 31

Petals died
tears dried
Love and emotion
all lied...

Emptiness -
I'm not sure how
it got to this
irrelevance now...

White came
and then it went -
the memories
have all been spent...

in photos
aged with time
along with his
along with mine...

All that's left
is one fine day -
that came as fast
as it went away.

Secrets

It's quiet in my soul
there is noone who
needs to know...

I have fallen from the train
of fast moving
beliefs or care...

Can I accept my own
mind - do I
dare...

Things are different now
my eyes are finally
clean...

I can see that people
are not as they
seem...

I used to worry about
their image
of myself...

Even though none
cared how I
felt...

I really am not interested,
nor will I be
there...

Images to remain
untouched nothing left
to share...

I know how it feels
to let it all
go...

It feels good -
there is noone who
needs to know.

Toxins.

Don't let what is inside
take away your outside -
The thoughts that make you
cry should and can die.

When you spend your time
in loneliness and pain -
only you can do the things
that only you can make change.

If something kills your spirit
or takes the life from your eyes -
you must have the courage
to accept the terms of goodbye.

The worst comes from within
the thoughts in your own head,
be careful what you listen to
or you make wake up dead.

To who you really are
and what you can really be...
only you can grasp your goals
and make your reality.

COB

I'll go home
quiet, head down
let it go -
noone around...

should get used to
not much sound -
until my heart
is once again found...

I'll hold tight
emotions of rage -
and instead cry
and turn the page...

there is a future
I wasn't born to die
without doing something
in truth..not a lie.

U-Haul

I had a chance once driving through the hills,
greenery everywhere in control of my own destiny -

to make that change...

yet I didn't - I stayed on,
as I had all the years before in the same place -

where I graduated -

I never wanted to live a dull life...
that followed boundaries and meaningless commitments-

tight borders -

I had a chance once to make a change in my life,
was I afraid, naive or plain stupid...

Because here I am...

I often wonder how it would be
had I moved that summer -

left what I knew for something new.

To begin again like spring
each year brings new flowers and growth...

if things never changed...everything would be dead.

Silver and Gold

Look around -
it's clear to see
there is no one
that needs to be...

by your side
or in your dreams -
no one is as good
as they seem...

a friend is just
disguised from foe -
and how can you
truly know...

that when you want
to let down your guard
is when you should
hold it tight and hard...

and never let
them see inside -
that little girl innocence
has truly died.

Caves

Overcast,
quiet -
alone for now...
doesn't seem to matter
I'll get through again
somehow...

Back biting,
decisions -
make my stomach turn...
when will I see the light
when will I
learn...

The tears erase
the secrets I face
inside...
want to run
want to go free
want to hide...

from myself.