Work

So...

my much awaited break from work..
has consisted of -

Sickness starting the day of the break...
Coughing fits all night long...
Vaporizer not helping at all -
Drugs with bad side affects -

The car in the shop as of yesterday
for at least two weeks,
tornado watches and warnings
all of today and happening now....

maybe work...
isnt' that bad.

Break

Relax...

Breath it in
the privacy -
the relaxation,
the time to be by myself...

let go of the anger
the grudges of times gone by...
relax
and let in the new high...

can't there be one?
a new chance?
lifes roads are twisted
but somehow...

they have to lead to freedom
of the mind ...
and the memories
that stain our souls...

there has to be hope
in this vast place
because we feel it
if we embrace

what we are
in God' grace
because he will be
the ultimate judge we face -

and will smile
of the job worth while...
or frown
because we let him down.

Without you?

How would it be
if I awoke and you weren't there...
noone by my side
with all the love we share...

The days would be long -
the nights filled with tears
how do you part
after all of these years...

Something special
rained down on me
when I looked in your eyes
and you set me free...

to understand love -
and what a man should be...
How could I cope
if you ever leave me?

Money

I never knew
it would be so hard
just to exist
and swim upstream...

seems it's one thing
after another
every day
and every week...

never eases
for those of us
not fortunate
just living stuck...

in routines
that bend the mind
to troubled hearts
and hard times...

that never seem
to go away
another dollar
another day.

Courage

There are those interesting
walking amongst us...
not afraid to go against the traffic...
while everyone else follows the flow

follows the call of money and success
yet never learn to smile...
because when they get it...
they realize it's futile...

but some swim downstream...
unafraid to break the mold
of what humanity is....
of what makes the human real -

is it courageous to leave?
should that be applauded?
what about others...
do they always come first...

Everyone is condemned
when they follow their own beat,
when their drum is loud
and against the norm...

but it's interesting to see
some have the nerve not found in me...
to grab a hold of that individuality
that fear holds inside.

Chills

Wintertime is rolling in
the clouds above welcome them
the change is nice
from hot Texas heat...

the smell of cooking comes
as turkey and Christmas treats
will fill up my heart
and bring home good times...

Maybe a road trip
will remind us of this map
that rolls on pavement before us
proving theres more...

Family will bring smiles
and movies will show old days -
when people gathered around
sang and danced and prayed...

The star will top the tree...
the presents will mount up tall
and in the morning time...
we'll see it's worth it all!

Boredom

To go far away
begin again..
I've been wanting to
since way back when...

Stuck in this routine
day after day -
Total boredom
nothing new to say...

no happiness abides
no smiles cross my face
emptiness inside
as my eyes stare into space...

There is nothing here
there is nothing here for me...
will there be a time
I set my ownself free!!!

The Faith

You try and try
until you don't want to anymore
then you try again...

facing the same trials
that seem to wipe you down
then try to turn them around...

There has to be an out
for anything you're in
try - cry then try again...

Say it to your mind
a different day a different time
but it's still the same ole line...

As long as you try.

Dreams

Don't let go
of the dreams you dream -
No matter what you face
let your light beam...

People will hurt you,
they'll surely break your heart,
but your dreams are yours alone
the best place to start...

living and breathing
and tasting a reality
that is one that you created
what you were born to be.

You can't depend on money,
you can't depend on man,
you can depend on your heart
and the way you take your stand

in never giving up
on the most important thing...
taking control of your future
and living out your dream!

You

Without you...
where would I be?
You are the voice
that sets me free...

You are the angel
the wings that I ride -
You are the rock
that I always confide...

You are the sun
that shines me a way
to security and peace
and a confident day...

So simple I know
but it is what is true -
my body and soul
will always love you!!!

Anxiety

The limbs sneak out
to pull me in -
the anxiety that always
welcomes them...

Breath in the calm
beg to relax,
try hard to make
the shaking pass...

but it hoovers
and the demons laugh
as I shake and tremble
praying for them to pass...

Peace of mind
letting go of the fear
that always seems
the be quite near.

Rays of Sun

It's like Church
on a Sunday morning
white paten shoes
and white lace socks -

sun streaming in
through the sheer curtains
life was
so easy then...

and it always seemed quite chilly,
and there always was a yawn,
but you knew there was safety -
wrapped in the hope of Jesus home.

It's like Church
on a Sunday morning
best place to be for
anyone.

Going home
and the smell of roast
wished you had already
made your bed -

the fellowship
of likeminded friends,
a trust you'll
never know again...

Riding your bike
down the street that seemed so long
told to stay outside
until the guests were gone

laughter for everyone..

just like Church
on a Sunday morning
best place to be
for anyone.

Alone

Sometimes I wonder
if anyone has anyone -
are we all alone
existing...
thinking...
wondering...
living...
alone...

and when you have someone -
do you really?
how will you ever know
you can't stop fate
you can't stop death
you can't stop random
interruptions

So where does the happiness
supposed but invisible
come through
and from...
when you sit
in the midst of another
alone.

Stepping Out

Insecure
sometimes depressed
nothing new
to help with this

stepping out
is so surreal
sometimes my eyes
are all I feel

hiding behind
lies and facts
my own mind
is my worst attack

yet here I go
though none will know
because I have
no one to show.