Security

I'm scared
actually terrified -
as I pack boxes
side by side...

It's always been
a dream for me -
now that it's happening
I can see...

It will be hard
to leave it all behind -
the life I have built
the life that is mine...

Leaving my job
my beloved house sold -
should I retire here
when I am that old?

Or should I take
a leap of faith -
knowing it may be
one huge mistake...

I've never done this
ever before -
I can't imagine
locking my door...

and driving away
from all that is here -
will I regret it
that is my fear.

Swords

Sitting here
with uncertainty -
what will be
next for me...

Venom spewed
sickness near -
what you mean
is made quite clear...

Stomach knots 
through teary eyes -
humiliation
hidden cries...

No one there
to stand with you -
cutting ties
when binds are through.

Cutting Ties

Is it time 
to finally be -
cut from the ties
that always bind me...

Seeing what
I want to see -
instead of living
forcefully...

Letting go of
what is behind -
with a new daily
sun filled grind...

and never having
to ever face -
the worn-out past
I will erase.

Sunsets

Nobody lives there
Anymore -
So why am I waiting
at a past front door...

They all have moved
or passed away -
there really isn't much
to make me stay...

So take the leap
on this bungee cord -
believe in yourself
believe in the Lord...

Why not live
before you die -
when you hesitate
ask yourself why?

Elevators

He was talented

worldly and smart - 
leaving his impact
in my mind and heart...

Advanced degrees
the corporate ladder -

When money was all

that really mattered...

but I saw sweetness
and showered beauty -
no one will know

any of it but me...

He survived so much
and lived out loud -
I'm sure his family

is very proud...

I think of him
a lot lately -
I hope he is
resting and free.

Bye

Don't allow disrespect
for no reason -
Realize everything
has its season...

Why allow it 
to happen again -
Only your choices
can make it end...

This may be
the next step -
because I'm done
with all of it...

I deserve a
smile on my face -
sometimes history
must be erased.

Droplets and Puddles

The rain is coming down
in my temporary home -
down in Corpus Christi
I wish it were my own...

Where the birds chirp happily
and the ocean gives its waves -
while my dogs are running restlessly
trying to behave...

We are all a bit sunburnt
I really want to stay -
Though I know in the morning
we will have to go away...

but for now I will savor
the pretty pool in my view -
and appreciate this trip
trying not to feel so blue.

Timelines

It's sooner than you think
when you won't anymore -
it won't be much longer
you walk through a new door...

This will all be
Just a distant memory -
with new things in store
waiting for me...

What annoys you now
will never again -
just like times before 
this time will end...

So suck it up while
you roll your eyes -
and look forward to
these future goodbyes. 

Locket

I don't want to
but I have to let you go -
the pain that this causes me
is more than you could know...

My heart still loves you
but I can't cry anymore -
I can't change the outcome
so what am I trying for...

I will still talk to you
and pray to meet you soon -
especially when I'm alone
tucked up safely in my room...

I think you would want me
to go and live happily -
as I keep your memory near 
within my heart safely.

Move?

Well I made it
another year -
thanks to God
I am still here...

Great things 
are up ahead -
I wouldn't live them
if I were dead...

So thank you God
for this birthday -
I get really sad 
but not today...

I will give 
my thanks to you -
because it's you
who got me through...

many trials
and turbulent times -
but those are now
left far behind...

I see the beach
with a new zip code -
Come on God
I'm ready for the road. 

Temporary

Tick Tock
I watch the clock -
knowing this isn't
all I've got...

I see the sun
smiling on me -
where I am gone
and I am free...

I'll never see you
ever again -
I can not wait
until then...

For now I will
stay far away -
waiting until
that excellent day.