Do I want it?
I don't know -
but I'm ready and
off to go...
see if this is
my new thing -
and to show what
I would bring...
Perks and fun or
worry and stress -
I won't go
I must confess...
It has to be
an opportunity -
to bring more
happiness to me.
You are a horrible person
I saw that Karma came for you -
but I won't rejoice
that's not something I would do...
You sent me in a direction
one I would never go -
but I realize that now
how would I ever know...
I was drowning in hell
demons haunting all around -
and now that I am gone
not one of those fuckers is around...
You did me a huge favor
so enjoy your life living in hell -
you were just a portion of
my life that I will never tell.
If I could
I don't think I would -
I'm starting to feel
like I should...
Keep this going
living this way -
I am liking the
day to day...
The palm trees
the salty air -
the beautiful flowers
blooming everywhere...
I've met cool people
I've seen cool things -
I like living here
and what it brings...
It's been scary
it's been a ride -
but I've got family
by my side...
Why go back
when I wanted to go -
just because it
is what I know...
Now I'm learning
a new zip code -
It was I who said
I'm ready for the road.
That was actually
really fun -
maybe the time
has now begun...
Me in the free
dancing in the wind -
I can't wait
to do it again...
Totally new
and so very nice -
some famous people
some drinks on ice...
A bad ass uber
a very clean town -
only friendly people
hanging around...
I'm joining the gym
I'm driving the streets -
I met who
I wanted to meet...
I think I'm finally
falling in love -
and living what
I dreamed of.
It was a willing
choice to be made -
I dreamed, I hoped
I asked and I prayed...
So why does it cause
so many tears -
nightmares, anxiety
filled up with fears...
Thinking back on
familiar places -
missing a few
lovely faces...
I guess it is fate
it's too late now -
trying to adjust
to new ways somehow.
You said what you meant
and meant what you said -
You let it all out
what was inside your head...
Who cares what they thought
or if they'll ever talk to you -
what a relief that their
rude abuse is through...
It's only more closure
that needed to be done -
they aren't in your future
nor or they the ones...
You want to be around
or even ever see -
you spoke the truth and
the truth shall set you free!
The choice is up to me
half empty or half full -
scary and dangerous or
just new and very cool...
Regret leaving what I knew
or find new things to love -
worry about my future life
or live what I dreamed of...
Many chapters are written
in this book of days -
so open tunnel vision eyes
and live these better ways...
Where seagulls fly above
gorgeous white sandy shores -
while driving palm lined streets
that is what you are here for...
Live this new experience
that finally set you free -
to live the life you wanted
and where you wanted to be.
Everything I do
seems to fall apart -
I wonder why
I even start...
Just to face
disappointment again -
I wonder if
it's possible to win...
Rejection sucks
failure is hard -
my poker face
can't hide my card...
Just disappear
let everything go -
it's what I've learned
it's what I know...
I can't bloom
in toxic soil -
I bow my head
and just recoil.
Dreams really
do come true -
but there is uncertainty
with them too...
Especially when
everything is new -
and you don't know
what to do...
Except enjoy
the scenery -
the flowers, the birds
the greenery...
Taking each day
with what it gives -
Learning about the new
place you live...
This was your dream
for many years -
now wake up
wipe away your tears...
If after this time
you want to go home -
at least you allowed
yourself to roam...
Outside of your known
concrete lot -
Enjoy this time
with what you've got.
I'm scared dear Lord
please be with me -
I tremble each morning
as you can see...
I am not brave
and never have been -
what in this world
are we living in...
I pray for peace
and happiness too -
but my only option
is to believe in you...
Please stand with me
each day I rise -
until the time
I am at your side.
It's been overwhelming
and scary too -
but what is now done
will never undo...
The future is now
the past in the rear -
I'm facing the truth
and all my fear...
I wanted this day
I will try to see -
this huge decision
was brought on by me...
I will check back
a few weeks in time -
and see how I feel
about what is mine.
