Music is like
a time machine -
it takes you back
in a daydream...
All of the sudden
you're ten again -
remembering exactly
what happened then...
You see the moment
you feel the air -
you're alive again
as you were there...
Drifting back
to that moment in time -
as the music fills up
you soul and mind.
I will just keep it
all inside -
and find my trusty
hole to hide...
because I know
in reality -
it is all left
up to me...
Silence echos
in my ears -
to care less evens
out my fears...
because I've learned
it is not there -
and I've learned
to never care.
I think of you
frequently -
do you ever
think of me...
Deep inside
I hope you know -
it was hard
to watch you go...
You made me laugh
and made me cry -
when we said
the final goodbye...
But just because
it wasn't me -
I truly hope
you are happy.
I do admit
it gives me pause -
seeing the scary
turbulent cause...
sends me in a
different direction -
with a lot of
tough reflection...
If it is not
meant to be there -
then I wonder
exactly where...
I should be
or I should go -
and how I will
ever know?
The curtains close
the clock is stopped -
the wood floor creaks
during the walk...
Demons hover
angels soar high -
the key turns quietly
as they die...
Sharp shards cut
the bloody flow -
secrets buried
no one will know...
history hides
beneath the dirt -
as the haunted live
walking the earth.
Save it for
the ride home -
save it until
you are alone...
You can let it
all out then -
by yourself
at least till ten...
Where you can
hide in privacy -
and let the tears
all flow freely.
Tears rim my eyes
as I feel defeated -
so many times
I have repeated...
Choices that kill
and clog my mind -
with people who are
rude and unkind...
I feel mistakes
have ruined my hope -
I find it difficult
just to cope...
I don't hold belief
in anything here -
as I watch all
happiness disappear.
Things are about to get
completely real -
I'm about to express
exactly how I feel...
What I will put up with
what I won't do -
what I have decided
I will pursue...
I have one shot
and this is my time -
I will dictate
what will be mine...
I don't need anyone
ever at all -
my life, my choices
and my call.
Well here it is
it's been a year -
I'm kind of shocked
that I'm still here...
There is good
and there is bad -
I suppose it's better
than what I had...
Some things loom
in front of me -
All I can do
is wait and see...
if the dream
becomes reality -
and that vision
comes to be.
You would be
in your twenties now -
if the outcome had been
different somehow...
I wonder what
you would have been -
if that had not
happened then...
The bathroom blood
my agonizing cries -
the trip up the mountain
when I heard your goodbye...
It was traumatic
it tore me into -
I felt the guilt of
not cherishing you...
Because when I did
and became aware -
it was too late
you were no longer there...
I pray from my heart
the sign was true -
Don't worry mommy
I'll look after you.
I'll work on my own
patience and empathy -
I'll try to snuff out anger
and offer sympathy...
Behind closed doors
everyone lives their life -
no one else knows
their problems and strife...
So once again I will
choose to rise above -
and try to fill this world
with happiness and love...
Maybe I will make
someone else feel good -
being the kind of person
that I believe I should.
I believe in me
I don't need you
to do that too...
I wonder to myself
do you even
believe in you...
People come and
then they go
this much is true...
but caring at all
what you think
I assure I will never do.
I don't know why
you're always so rude -
but I'm pretty sick of
your salty attitude...
You create things
to complain about -
you're a miserable person
inside no doubt...
I've decided to
completely ignore you -
I'll always avoid
ever having to do...
anything where
you might be -
I do not appreciate
how you treat me...
I don't want you
as any kind of friend -
so go be hateful elsewhere
this is my end.
