Love

I know what it's like
to love a man -
to get lost in his mouth
and the touch of his hand...

Wanting his body
to be one with mine -
to crave it, hope it
will happen this time...

The sinful lust
can carry me away,
but I can't say no
when I want it to stay -

in that moment forever
and grasp for breath,
with his body
errupting with manliness.

His never ending
intelligence -
his laugh, his eyes
his selflessness...

The laws of attraction
keep pulling me back -
filling me up with love
there is nothing to lack...

with a self made man
to himself he is true -
a real man to protect
you him and him you.

Mute

It's hard to see the news -
the people and their views -
day after day they spew

as they say and do...

horrible things to one another
to each other -
sister and brother -
father and mother -

sad so sad,
and it's getting bad,
we've lost what we had -

this country

God
Pride
Hope
Class
Morals
Respect

gone...all gone
I guess from this point on

I'll turn it all off.

Home

It came -
It went -
It will come again...

I enjoy
the solitude -
the music in the background...

the dog beside the window.

Food cooking -
Fresh smell of paint -
Hair in hat...

relaxed.

Even if the rain patters lightly,
the sun bakes the roof
or the snow covers the treetops...

Planted by my own hand -

It is mine -
Is is my own
It is my home.

A Million Miles Away

Get me out of here
about a million miles away -
can't face the future
can't face another day...

more bad news
just heading my way -
Leaves me high and dry
with nothing else to say...

My words don't count
and my heart doesn't matter -
Endless talks of hope
is only endless chatter...

Slapped in the face
time and time again...
take me to a time
when this will be back then...

Get me out of here
about a million miles away -
just pack up my car
and head to where I'll stay...

Far from this place
that is tearing me into -
away from more failure
and onto something new.

Sweetness

Why can't I be
where the land meets the sea -
where the air blows free
and the stars shine on me...

Where white sand meets a salty wave
and paradise is just another day -
for the ones who have never
lived any other way...

oh how sweet
that would be.

Tasting heaven and the locals know
the tourists pay for it's the place to go
to leave it all behind
for a natural show...

oh how sweet
that would be.

Forward

Slowly -
but surely,
I will put myself back together -
like humpty dumpty
or an egg at Easter
holes on both ends
to make something pretty
last forever...

Maybe I'll look back -
and see
it's all party of the journey.

Rough roads -
cracked streets -
hills, mountains and mo-hills -
that seemed like mountains at the time...

winding towards a paradise
I haven't seen or touched...

yet.

Shew

Nuisances and flies
I wish I was there...
I try to shew them away to
anywhere but here...

I wish I was free
to be who I want to be...
I wish I didn't have
all this responsibility...

As they come near
I go the other way...
I don't need to see them
none of them one more day...

I don't understand...
how I got stuck in this lie...
tear stained memories -
I stare out the window and sigh.

Souls

Surface

where people live
where the men leave their hearts
or lack there of...

Surface
where the millionaires
steal their millions -

where the healthcare
bury their dead
where the rich -

party

where those without souls
exist empty
where empty words of

non feeling humans -
destroy life...

why there are very few
that deserve

heart and soul.

More Tears

Goodbye
Precious Molly
across the rainbow bridge...

out of nowhere
there you went
back to your beautiful self...

always pretty
always proper
always had your blond paws crossed...

bright green eyes
loved the grass
loved the shade of morning sun...

I will miss you
as my son will
will you say hi to Bun up there...

as these tears
flow once again
to an angel gone from here...

Goodbye Molly
cross that bridge
run to freedom and feel no pain...

I pray one day
they all are wrong
and I'll see you once again.

Thoughts

It doesn't matter
what they think...
I can honestly say
I am over it...
their opinions...
their lives...
their issues...
their insults...
their lies...
I can see the light
the tunnel -
was never there
in the first place.

Turtle

I have a shell
I welcome it...
turtle, introvert
alone and alright...

The things they've
said and done -
have led me down this path
this disconnected plight...

I don't need them,
anyone actually -
they were the ones
who carefully taught me...

When wounds heal
the scar tissue is hard -
and gives you strength
to set their words free...

from love, from care
the welcome it brings -
because I don't feel
any of those things...

I am comfortably numb
and the future will be -
me avoiding them...
and them avoiding me.

Doors

She'll never be
what she dreamed she'd be -
Her eyes have seen
too much travesty...

She joined in
when she should have left -
she let go of
what she should have kept...

and now her future
is a twisted mess -
from a closet of lies
that she never confessed.

Lessons

A broken spirit
tongues that sting -
is this what they
are supposed to bring...

What is trust?
does it even exist -
if you went far away
what would you miss...

I've heard their words
I've seen actions quite rude -
I've been around their eyes
and their mean attitude...

I've fallen out of love
with any that I believed -
would be a good heart
that would never deceive...

For that is all a lie
deviance in the mind...
which is why I have no problems
leaving it all behind.

Growing Up

I saw a little boy today
cap, roller blades,
knee pads -

Blond hair
bending over...
I could see you again -

like you were then...

a pain twinged my heart,
brought a tear to my eye,
the happiest moments of my life -

have always been
you and I...

It hurts sometimes to know
you'll never be that size again...

I love you just as much now
as I did then...

The time comes when the mom
closes the door alone -
and watches you drive away

from your home...

and it hurts
through easy smiles -
and it taints the heart

for a while.

Looking Up

Ten, Twenty
Thirty or more -
how long we're on this journey
no one can be for sure...

There are only two facts
that each one here can share -
Birth and death
and that the journey isn't fair...

But as we look deeper
it's easy to see -
some things we take for granted
are given to us free...

treetops and mountains,
rivers and streams,
the greeting from your dog -
last nights wild and vivid dreams...

the smell of fresh cut grass,
the crackle of a fire,
the smell of springtime rain -
passion and desire...

a birds nest there to greet you
with chirping from within -
as you leave your home
to do it all again...

yet see that in this world
so scary, cold and dead...
Life and smiles are everywhere...
if you just lift up your head.

Choices

Life comes at you crazy...
not sure if you're heading up
or heading down...

We hit the streets so hazy...
more news of destruction
one more tattered town...

but here we are
we're all the same -
just different faces
with a different name...

on the same boat
just trying to stay sane -
in a world that looks away
as we try in vain.

People come out of nowhere
to leave a legacy
of tears and dispair...

Causing tragedies to hard to bare...
have they not a heart
or learned how to care...

Could it be that life's not fair?
I say it's our choice
the legacy we share.

Good Riddance

So interesting -
I've learned
the shadows from my past
are easy to flee...

Letting go -
isn't abandonment
yet it is a part of life,
the path to being free...

The faces -
I've seen
are not a reflection,
not a mirror of me...

Nor do I owe -
anyone anything
no answers from my lips,
no sight for them to see...

my commitment's -
lie in my heart
I answer to myself alone,
whether or not they agree.

Somewhere Out There

You breeze through my mind
like a scent in the wind -
reminded of a time
that I will never visit again...

In dreams you appear
and I wake only to see -
you're a ghost of my past
a sweet memory...

I can search all I want
follow the paths I have crossed -
yet any type of treasure
is buried and lost...

I wonder in my heart
do I ever cross your mind -
for like the sweet summer wind
you breeze through mine.

Cause and Affect

Healing
After
They
Expose
Reality

Reality

Lies
Ostracizing
Vicious
Ending
Repetitive

Getting Closer

I'd call it a
self fulfilling prophecy -
If I hadn't seen it
coming directly towards me...

I'd call it sad
and possibly a sin -
If I hadn't found out everything
back then...

I'd call it a chance
redemption to a new -
if I had some kind of
feelings for you...

I'd call it sad
if my emotions could care -
I'd shed a tear
if I had any left to share.

Mighty

Majestic -
beautiful
eyes of courage...

fur that shines
beneath the sun...

Animals

Great and small
I love them all...

I wish I could save
the ones in the cages -

I wish for freedom
on this land -

that once was theirs...

What have we done?

Progress?

as the earth wittles away
the stars fade, the sun beats...

The animals die
for no reason...

Land is taken
for more land scaping -

can't we see
it was perfect before.

But they plow
and they grow
and they build...

yet I know...

Animals
Beautiful
Majestic

gives life power.

Stone

Labor -
and hard
some vacation
some work harder...

Soreness -
yet
something is finished
that wasn't there before...

Relaxation -
will come
in evenings
after work days...

because -
of labor and work
vacation
provides.

Motivation

About to move
in oxygen..
to feel -
to think -
to breath...
To sweat
and get
the benefit -
of challenging
the essence
of me...
Time to
begin again
oxygen!

Gratitude

Thank you God for
health, wealth
and prosperity.

Thank you for
sending your son
to die for me...

Thank you for
saving my son
September 9, 1992...

Thank you for
giving me a heart
that believes in you...

Thank you for
protection when I
don't deserve it...

Thank you for
wisdom to understand
what we're dealing with...

Thank you for
a home, a car
a job, and a mind...

Thank you for
compassion
and eyes that are kind...

Thank you God
for a mammaw
that taught me to see...

cleanliness and independence
are goals we should all
strive to be...

Thank you for
the men in my life
that have come through...

Thank you for
another day
to give thanks to you!!!

Smiling

Happy
so happy
don't mean to be
incredibly sappy -
but here I am
smiling ear to ear
what the happy hell
is going on here...
laughing, loving
and having a ball
excited about the future
the craziness of it all...
Time has come
and time has gone
could this have been
the plan all along..
happy
so happy
feels good
just like I always should!

Final

I see the point
the end of this
the end of it all...

they must have courage
and some spunk
to make the final call...

Guess I'm weak
because in my mind
I dangle the plan...

Yet wake again
for nothing much
to live with who I am...

alone and bored
with nothing new
and sick of them all...

Wish I had
the strength of them
to make the final call!!!

38 Special

Driving along
I hear a song
that brings back memories of you...

I fade to a time
when you were mine
young love that felt so true...

Innocence lived
when I kissed your lips
you brought me flowers and sprees...

We laughed at jokes
while learning the ropes
and parked beneath the trees...

Saturday nights
with dates so late
movies and popcorn full...

Promises spoken
bound to be broken
there's life after school...

I hear you're married
with kids in tow
I'm happy your life is well...

I can't help but see
you face in my heart
like the stories those memories tell.

Lightbulb

Let it happen
Let it be -
Let something finally
go right for me...

Let this hope
come into fruition -
Let this all be
a smart decision...

I want so bad
to make this new -
I pray so hard
this can come true...

Ideas of life
can be the end -
of a life headed
in a downward spin...

I have the goal
smart as it seems -
please let this become
an accomplished dream.

The High Dive

How do you know
when to end it all -
step off the pier
and take the high fall...

If care is gone
and words are strong -
when does your gut
say it's time to move on...

The pain in the head,
the twinge to the heart -
the fears that you hide
the vulnerable part...

is holding your hand
and leading the way -
to a different future
can you afford to pay...

the doors may slam
and the quiet may scare -
would it even be possible
to find yourself there...

If you still even exist.

June 5

Twenty years ago today,
both innocent and quite young -
remembering books we read
and all the songs we sung...

The angel of my eyes
the faith and hope we shared -
I will always treasure
every single memory there.

They may fade over time
but they will never leave -
the best decision in my life
was having him with me...

So many happy smiles
and laughter from the soul -
my angel and my son
the best person I could know...

There is nothing like the love
of a mother to her son...
Gratitude to God...
for giving me this one!!!

Sunshine

Let in the light
to your heart -
it's the first place
to start...

I want to say
that love is true -
I want to say
it to you...

There is melody
when the sun is out -
and the sky is clear
and you lose your doubts...

There are dreamers
about to achieve -
a life long goal
a life long dream....

There is hope
if you push away the fear -
if you open your mind
things become clear...

So wrap your arms
around the brightest sun -
Let your life shine bright
for it's just begun.

Wishful

I wish it had
turned out different -
trust...

I wish that the dreams
had become reality -
love...

I wish that when I saw
my visions they were true -
happiness...

Now I have suspicion,
searching for the real truth -
tears...

desperately trying to find out
if I'm wasting my youth -
lies...

what is left of it...
what is within me -
courage...

the truth
might set me on the path -
free...

I never wanted it that way
I had innocence on that day -
hope...

that is now eluded...
unfortunately buried and not -
resurrected...

because when vows
aren't cherished they are gone -
dead.

Faith

I'm afraid
but I'm stepping out -
I'm trying something
that I've only dreamed about -
Will it happen
I don't know -
but I never will
If I don't go -
and try.

Candles

Smile...
sometimes the cake
has icing...

Sometimes
the presents
are wrapped in silver...

Sometimes
the bows
are full of glitter...

Sometimes
the parties
are fun...

sometimes it's true
and I am the one...
who smiles!

May 31

Petals died
tears dried
Love and emotion
all lied...

Emptiness -
I'm not sure how
it got to this
irrelevance now...

White came
and then it went -
the memories
have all been spent...

in photos
aged with time
along with his
along with mine...

All that's left
is one fine day -
that came as fast
as it went away.

Secrets

It's quiet in my soul
there is noone who
needs to know...

I have fallen from the train
of fast moving
beliefs or care...

Can I accept my own
mind - do I
dare...

Things are different now
my eyes are finally
clean...

I can see that people
are not as they
seem...

I used to worry about
their image
of myself...

Even though none
cared how I
felt...

I really am not interested,
nor will I be
there...

Images to remain
untouched nothing left
to share...

I know how it feels
to let it all
go...

It feels good -
there is noone who
needs to know.

Toxins.

Don't let what is inside
take away your outside -
The thoughts that make you
cry should and can die.

When you spend your time
in loneliness and pain -
only you can do the things
that only you can make change.

If something kills your spirit
or takes the life from your eyes -
you must have the courage
to accept the terms of goodbye.

The worst comes from within
the thoughts in your own head,
be careful what you listen to
or you make wake up dead.

To who you really are
and what you can really be...
only you can grasp your goals
and make your reality.

COB

I'll go home
quiet, head down
let it go -
noone around...

should get used to
not much sound -
until my heart
is once again found...

I'll hold tight
emotions of rage -
and instead cry
and turn the page...

there is a future
I wasn't born to die
without doing something
in truth..not a lie.

U-Haul

I had a chance once driving through the hills,
greenery everywhere in control of my own destiny -

to make that change...

yet I didn't - I stayed on,
as I had all the years before in the same place -

where I graduated -

I never wanted to live a dull life...
that followed boundaries and meaningless commitments-

tight borders -

I had a chance once to make a change in my life,
was I afraid, naive or plain stupid...

Because here I am...

I often wonder how it would be
had I moved that summer -

left what I knew for something new.

To begin again like spring
each year brings new flowers and growth...

if things never changed...everything would be dead.

Silver and Gold

Look around -
it's clear to see
there is no one
that needs to be...

by your side
or in your dreams -
no one is as good
as they seem...

a friend is just
disguised from foe -
and how can you
truly know...

that when you want
to let down your guard
is when you should
hold it tight and hard...

and never let
them see inside -
that little girl innocence
has truly died.

Caves

Overcast,
quiet -
alone for now...
doesn't seem to matter
I'll get through again
somehow...

Back biting,
decisions -
make my stomach turn...
when will I see the light
when will I
learn...

The tears erase
the secrets I face
inside...
want to run
want to go free
want to hide...

from myself.

Light

The sun will shine
summer will be here
things might be better...

Joy may happen
on a trip or two -
and life might seem to have

weathered the winter.

The cold will be buried
on newscasts of yesterday -
with a forecast of pretty and warm...

Life might be measured
in cycles and phases -
clear vision after hazes...

and the calm after the storm.

Rain of Tears

The rain comes down
sheets of God's tears...
Gets worse and worse
with each and every year.

Why did he die
for these people down here...
they deny him and laugh
at the promise he is near...

Why does he give us
a sunrise again -
doesn't he see
how they always mock him...

Why does he let
us live on and on -
maybe this world would
be better if we're gone...

The tragedies would end
and the violence would cease -
and the stars could shine
down on a world of true peace.

April Snow

Oh Lord -
Help us
as we face another day...

More news of
distruction
so many have something to say...

But do any
perceive
the severity of it all...

How we as
a nation
are letting ourselves fall...

to the brink
of a has been
a selfish look at me...

instead of doing
what's needed
to keep this nation free...

from senseless
deaths
disease and crazy men...

and remember
where we came from -
take those vows from them...

and build
our future
on steps to higher ground...

where freedom, love,
respect
and democracy is found.

Heart Paths

Just because you knew them
many years ago,
doesn't mean they matter now
things change - you know...

Sometimes it's best
to let go of memories gone bye,
Sometimes it's best
to let go of dreams that need to die...

People come and people go
Ties are always broken -
paths change midway in time
and new vows are spoken...

Listen to your heart
the direction that it leads -
and when the time presents itself
go to what it needs!

Freedom

It's ok
to let them all pass by...
the storms and the words
and the things that make you cry...

It's ok
to let your life be quiet...
to chose your own peace
and leave the others to their riot...

It's ok
to breath this life in free...
to do the things you love
and not take time to worry...

It's ok
to let them all go
if you need to release some frowns
go with what you know.

It's ok.

Thank you God
for my Dog!

News

Is this what happens
when you get older
your love for everyone
dries up...

you just don't care
if you see their faces
amazing what time
erases -

the good memories
seem so long ago -
and somehow they
don't seem quite so nice...

is this what happens
when the world
opens up and
sucks you into the chilly ice...

People are worse
and kids are meaner
no respect and a
evil demeanor...

noone has common
courtesy
anymore
that's for sure...

is this a lesson
on what really matters..
because I can't figure out
if anything does anymore.

Sleep Tonight

Run far away -
don't look back
over your shoulder
there's nothing you lack...

Start a new
It's inside of you -
free yourself
from all you do...

that's wasted
in a half hearted smile
You look away
it's just denial...

It's over...
been that way
since long ago -
nothing left to say...

It's over...
and it's alright -
close your eyes
you'll sleep tonight.

Wrap up tight..you'll sleep tonight.

Storms

The storms roll in
on a Tuesday night...
I search the skies
will it feed my fright...

Another day
Now another night -
but what a
beautiful sight.

I feel the breeze
blow against my face..
if anywhere
this is my own space...

I'll handle this one
with dignity and grace...
it's like leather
outlined in lace...

puffy clouds of lace....

So rain down on
the Texas ground
I guess for now
it's the home I've found...

and even with
noone around -
I hear the thunder
what a beautiful sound...

I hear the rain..
what a beautiful sound.

Birthdays

I'm confused...
guess I should be...
maybe all girls are...

each year - every single one of us
turns another page
in the novel of live...

we all age,
we all get older,
we all get closer towards the other side...

but when are we old?
When are we done?
When are we used up?

When is our beauty gone for good?
Society puts so much emphasis
on our age, on our beauty, on our style -

seems with women
sometimes that's all that matters
in their eyes.

Are we just our looks?
Are we more than our age?
Are deadlines what makes our existence?

Does the time come
that we stay inside in slippers and robes...
tending an overgrown yard...

watching TV...
doing a crossword puzzle...
cooking another meal?

No men to love?
No fashion to follow?
Do we matter in the end?

Or maybe...
that is the reward
and the message our grandmothers send.

Grasping Reality

I can sit around
day after day...
night after night....
waiting and wondering when
it will happen -

Death

I can sit around
and worry
and fill my voids with fear
of what it is
to come...

Death

I can sit around
and worry about people
and what they think
of me
and my life...

Or
I can let go of this craziness
this worry
this stress
this strife...

and live to enjoy another day granted
another chance to
see the flowers bloom
hear the birds chirp
pet my dog with love

and live

LIFE.

So What

I find my care meter
is quite broken...

I'm over almost anything
I've done before...

Boredom has visited me
for quite some time.

So I'm late
so what...
So I'm broke
so what...
So I'm alone
so what...

So I'm introverted
more than ever before -
with noone to talk to anymore...

Everything is overrated anyway.
So what.

Paths

Some people have money
some people have fame -
some people get by in life
with their last name...

Some people have children
some people are heirs -
some people live check to check
in the debt of despair...

It's an interesting canvass,
This portrait called life...
some people take the wrong path
some choose the right...

There are things we all face
being birth and death -
and the love we give or take
until our last breath.

Falls Creek

Today I saw the waterfalls
beautiful
an hour away...

Yesterday I saw the lakes
the biking and relaxation
an hour away...

The media always
shows the negative
the hoplessness and fear...

when I got home it was waiting here...

but I will think
of nature, rocks and animals...
an hour away.

Spring

Sitting inside...
staring outside..

wish I was there!

Beautiful weather...
Beautiful newness...
Beautiful growth...
Beautiful what...

God does create!

:-)

The flowers are blooming
on the trees out my window...
reminding me that after the cold hard storms
comes the beauty.

Driving to work
I smell the fresh cut grass...
reminding me that after the thunder and rain
the new grows through.

During my day
I see a brand new puppy...
reminding me that even in the midst of turmoil
there is innocense.

Every day is a new beginning.

Dear God

I have hate...
yet God loves me...

I am insecure...
still God loves me...

I have secrets...
God knows them...

I have lied...
God knows this...

I have done wrong...
though God saved me....

I'm undeserving...
God thinks I am...

I am thankful...
Dear God!!!

???

What to do
when the lies are true
when I look into your eyes
and I can't see you...

When my heart is hardened
by this strange view
leaving me confused as to
what it is I should do.

Healing

Ying and Yang
life goes on.....

Tired

Tired -
the day is dragging
in the jail
that pays you...

Surroundings -
can be your friend,
or your worst enemy
Tired...

It will pass
just like everything does
just like everything will
even this...

Tired.

TWO WORDS

WINTER SUCKS!!!

Gone

Fleeing
could be
freeing...

running
far away from here...

Gone -
Vanished -
Left...

no more red face
embarrassment,
humiliation, turmoil, fear
no more tears...

would life take a new turn...

are there new turns...
from the same old grind?

Fleeing
could be freeing

if only
I had somewhere to go
or someone that I know
that sees the door is closed.

Rugs...

Family...
such an interesting assortment...

I see every day in the news
new families
new ideas
and new people making people...

my family -
I feel fortunate
they are in my home
a big responsibility....

But I love
both the male and the furry....
sometimes the furry more,
not really -
or maybe so...

but either way
it is my family...
who I love...
who I would protect....
who I would love nothing
but the best for....

I love you....
family!!!

Pink

They battle in pink...
leave behind precious
children, husbands, family,

but they have hope...

they lose their hair -
lose their eyebrows -
lose their lashes -
lose their breasts -

but they have hope...

some don't survive -
just fighting to stay alive -
some alone have cried -
while their loved ones died -

but they have hope...

no more self pity
for nothing of substance,

no more fear
when some are so strong...
this is the lesson
that needs to be taught all along...

COURAGE, STRENGTH, HOPE.

Reality

Changing the way
I think...

I can not change the world
I can not stop the storms -
I can not control if people deceive me
lie to me or mock me...

I can not stop evil
I can not elimate crime -
I can not stop deception
or create motivation...

What I can do
are eliminate the things
that bring me down -

eliminate the people
who bring me pain -
eliminate the ones who lie,
use me or deceive me...

because I am me -
I ask for nothing
from anyone but freedom...

it doesn't matter what they think
as long as they go away -
and leave things as they were...

independence is a virtue
all should hold near
to feel self actualization...

I trust noone
and I believe in noone
because everyone will let you down.

Eventually.

But right now the sun is out
I am home and safe -
I have a hope that I find

within myself.

ONWARD!

These Days

I look around and see
quite clearly...
things aren't as they
used to be...

the eyes are dead
the smiles are gone,
what once were lovers
have now moved on...

there is no joy
in any I see -
and I know there's none
found within me...

seems like time
has stamped a tear -
in every heart
that grows each year...

No friends to share
special news and hope,
they're just living life
and trying to cope...

This rudeness seems
to have taken them all
saying lies and truth
to make others feel small...

No one is true,
and no one is free -
none are alive
and none are happy.

Letting Go

Let it go
the anger and mistakes
to you and from you...

Let go of those
who bring you down
internally or externally...

and who you do the same...

Close the door
and accept serenity -
from your own soul
that doesn't need anymore of this...

so stop...
listen and let go...
start new now...

just let go.

Work

So...

my much awaited break from work..
has consisted of -

Sickness starting the day of the break...
Coughing fits all night long...
Vaporizer not helping at all -
Drugs with bad side affects -

The car in the shop as of yesterday
for at least two weeks,
tornado watches and warnings
all of today and happening now....

maybe work...
isnt' that bad.

Break

Relax...

Breath it in
the privacy -
the relaxation,
the time to be by myself...

let go of the anger
the grudges of times gone by...
relax
and let in the new high...

can't there be one?
a new chance?
lifes roads are twisted
but somehow...

they have to lead to freedom
of the mind ...
and the memories
that stain our souls...

there has to be hope
in this vast place
because we feel it
if we embrace

what we are
in God' grace
because he will be
the ultimate judge we face -

and will smile
of the job worth while...
or frown
because we let him down.

Without you?

How would it be
if I awoke and you weren't there...
noone by my side
with all the love we share...

The days would be long -
the nights filled with tears
how do you part
after all of these years...

Something special
rained down on me
when I looked in your eyes
and you set me free...

to understand love -
and what a man should be...
How could I cope
if you ever leave me?

Money

I never knew
it would be so hard
just to exist
and swim upstream...

seems it's one thing
after another
every day
and every week...

never eases
for those of us
not fortunate
just living stuck...

in routines
that bend the mind
to troubled hearts
and hard times...

that never seem
to go away
another dollar
another day.

Courage

There are those interesting
walking amongst us...
not afraid to go against the traffic...
while everyone else follows the flow

follows the call of money and success
yet never learn to smile...
because when they get it...
they realize it's futile...

but some swim downstream...
unafraid to break the mold
of what humanity is....
of what makes the human real -

is it courageous to leave?
should that be applauded?
what about others...
do they always come first...

Everyone is condemned
when they follow their own beat,
when their drum is loud
and against the norm...

but it's interesting to see
some have the nerve not found in me...
to grab a hold of that individuality
that fear holds inside.

Chills

Wintertime is rolling in
the clouds above welcome them
the change is nice
from hot Texas heat...

the smell of cooking comes
as turkey and Christmas treats
will fill up my heart
and bring home good times...

Maybe a road trip
will remind us of this map
that rolls on pavement before us
proving theres more...

Family will bring smiles
and movies will show old days -
when people gathered around
sang and danced and prayed...

The star will top the tree...
the presents will mount up tall
and in the morning time...
we'll see it's worth it all!

Boredom

To go far away
begin again..
I've been wanting to
since way back when...

Stuck in this routine
day after day -
Total boredom
nothing new to say...

no happiness abides
no smiles cross my face
emptiness inside
as my eyes stare into space...

There is nothing here
there is nothing here for me...
will there be a time
I set my ownself free!!!

The Faith

You try and try
until you don't want to anymore
then you try again...

facing the same trials
that seem to wipe you down
then try to turn them around...

There has to be an out
for anything you're in
try - cry then try again...

Say it to your mind
a different day a different time
but it's still the same ole line...

As long as you try.

Dreams

Don't let go
of the dreams you dream -
No matter what you face
let your light beam...

People will hurt you,
they'll surely break your heart,
but your dreams are yours alone
the best place to start...

living and breathing
and tasting a reality
that is one that you created
what you were born to be.

You can't depend on money,
you can't depend on man,
you can depend on your heart
and the way you take your stand

in never giving up
on the most important thing...
taking control of your future
and living out your dream!

You

Without you...
where would I be?
You are the voice
that sets me free...

You are the angel
the wings that I ride -
You are the rock
that I always confide...

You are the sun
that shines me a way
to security and peace
and a confident day...

So simple I know
but it is what is true -
my body and soul
will always love you!!!

Anxiety

The limbs sneak out
to pull me in -
the anxiety that always
welcomes them...

Breath in the calm
beg to relax,
try hard to make
the shaking pass...

but it hoovers
and the demons laugh
as I shake and tremble
praying for them to pass...

Peace of mind
letting go of the fear
that always seems
the be quite near.